"A wise man cares not for what he cannot have." (Herbert)

.....I've been brooding and melancholy since the healing of my melanoma surgery has not yet occurred. The pain I was having is gone, thank heaven, but the wound lingers on and the wound care nurse is still coming every day to remove the dressing and put a new one on. I am really tired of the whole routine. As far as being melancholy is concerned, besides Hamlet, I also identify with Don Juan, a character in Lord Byron's (1788-1824) book of the same name. Byron created the concept of the 'Byronic hero'-a defiant, melancholy young man, brooding on some mysterious, unforgivable event in his past. (Sounds like me). Byron's influence on European poetry, music, novel, opera, and painting has been immense, although the poet was widely condemned on moral grounds by his contemporaries. He was suspected of having an incestuous relationship with his half-sister, and he went abroad, never to return after he was accused of bi-sexual affairs. Although I don't remember any 'unforgivable event' in my past--oh, excuse me, I do--but I have on occasion brooded about my past. \

.....I identify with the brooding Don Juan, who one bright evening looked at the stars and wondered ..."how the devil they ever got there." And, like my image, Don, I have been wondering lately about the same thing--as I often have--with no answer. But I attempt the answer myself. Take the oak tree for example. What caused it? The acorn. And what caused the acorn? I assume the power of nature in the acorn that kept it growing. But no series of causes can go on forever. Sooner or later we come to the end, to something for which we know no reason. Somewhere there must be an uncaused first principle from which everything else starts and a supreme and final end for the sake of which everything exists. If you know what I mean.

.....Yesterday we went to a place called Magic Mobility and bought a lift for my scooter. Of course it'll go on the back of my car and it will allow me to get out of the house and go wherever I want or need to. I had to give in to Rhoda who has been urging me to buy a lift for many weeks--or months. I just didn't want to spend the money for it. I don't know why. I was also concerned about what effect it would have in my car. I can't worry about that now. But at Magic Mobility we bought a used lift for half the price of a new one. We'll also buy a cover for it to protect it from rain as it often does here without a moment's notice save for a very loud thunder blast and lightning. I can't worry about the car--the scooter has priority. I have a cane, but I can't walk with it more than about 100 yards before the leg gets painful. All of this--including the brooding like Don Juan--is a result--no doubt--of the aging process. Even my sister will be 84 this month. I just called her and offered to take her out to dinner on her birthday and buy her a lobster!