This is adding insult to injuries...(Moore)

Good evening my dear friends, as you can surmise  by the disjointed colors of the text--I too am disjointed.  I went on holiday aboard the Oasis, a ship containing 5000 passengers, and I was the one who fell and broke his hip in four places.  What are the odds of that eventful hubris?  I was on a stool by a slot machine and I slipped while discharging myself, but only my hip was "discharged"!  I do hope that all my readers will return to this blog and receive some joy from this colorful text.  The first thing I saw in this rehab institution was a behemoth surging out of the mist who looked somewhat like the letter "B" (capitalized) Also this dreadnought (described in Job 40:15-24) was rather dark--end somewhat like the Dove chocolate ice cream pop.  I soon discovered that this colossus was of the female persuasion and one who spoke creole mingled with checkerboard English for which she seemed proud.  She greeted me with this strange unintelligible musical Caribbean language a word of which I could not comprehend.  She however continued to check out my vitals, after which I was assigned to a cell--pardon, a room.  I had a dear friend who was also roomed and I asked that I be quartered with him--and so I was.  And we both derived some cheer from the arrangement until he was discharged.  After he left I transfered to a solo room.  I did not care to speak to anyone under the dire circumstances.  I believe someone out there can imagine my mood of distress...and like Janus...relief .


.....After thinking about the letter B looking like someone who could get a job at Hooters or the Miami Dolphin's cheerleading squad I wondered how humans could communicate with the alphabet that existed a millennium ago and how they might be able to write this column.  The letter "A" could stand for a tent; the letter "b" could represent a pregnant woman; the letter "I" could stand for a skinny rabbi; and the letter "Y" could stand for a rosebush with one thorn. Thus my blog would read "Hey, be careful of those roses, there's a skinny rabbi wedding a pregnant woman in that tent."  

.....The food was vile, (not at the "wedding" in the tent")but I was fortunate enough to see a small "cafe" in the main lobby.  And so I existed on hot dogs with mustard and onions most of the time with a root beer float for dessert. When I had breakfast in my room I had the nurse trained to bring me a Maxwell House coffee bag, two Sweet & Lows, a dairy creamer, and two mallomars.


Well, there really is no place like home.