"Remembrance of things past" (Proust)

.....Well, the votes on my poll are pouring in. We'll soon know whether or not the demand for continuing my blog is so overwhelming (or underwhelming) that it may not be ignored. Meanwhile, I thought in a dream last night that many of my former students would like a bit of nostalgia, and so today I will give them the thrill of recalling their first day of high school. God forbid if some teachers don't have books to give out to the kids right away. This is a good way to postpone lessons. For a day anyway. Something nice and easy and mechanical:

..... "O.K. I don't know your names yet but the first one in each row get up and pass out enough of these books for everyone in your row then come back for these Meanwhile I am going to distribute book inventory cards Now don't write anything on them until I tell you to When you get your books, you'll find a book label inside the front cover fill in the information called for your name the date the book number your grade and the condition of the book do that in ink and make sure you do it because if the book gets lost at least the person who finds it if he or she is honest will know who it belongs to and if he or she brings it to the lost and found office at least they'll know who to return the book to Every year though, somebody forgets to do what he or she is told and winds up having to pay for a lost book Even now I'm willing to wager that someone in this very room even while I'm cautioning you about this will not put his or her name in the book because he or she is thinking about something else--boys about sex--girls about pot while I'm telling you what to do Who doesn't have a book? One of these in my right hand and one of these in my left hand? Remember--in ink Who doesn't have a pen? How in the name of heaven can you come to school on the very first day the very beginning--the very beginning I say-- without being prepared with a pen? When you got up this morning what did you think you were going to do? Go swimming or something? Didn't you say to yourself now what do I need for school? Ah, that's it-- a pen and something to write on School, school, I'm going to school and I'll need a pen? Well, here's a pen kid lucky for you I know from long experience with freshmen that some lunkhead always shows up on the first day without a writing implement so I'm prepared with extra ones but let me tell you and I want you to listen to this carefully and this goes for all of you not just sleepy here that you better not come to my class hereafter without a pen and I noticed too that some of you straggled in here after the bell rang but I realize that the first day you may have had trouble finding the room but now that you know where it is you better make sure that you're in your seats when the bell rings and I don't mean walking around the room talking to friends either I mean in your seats quiet and waiting for the lesson to begin right? I said RIGHT? (class yells out in unison, 'RIGHT'!) I won't tolerate tardiness to my classroom You can ask any of my former students nobody comes late to this class and cutting a class is anathema Now there is your first vocabulary word of the year Better write it down in a vocabulary section of your notebook I said WRITE! (class buries its head in unison and "WRITES"!) Now I see some of you have notebooks already the rest of you should have a notebook by tomorrow I prefer loose-leaf binders and they better be kept neat with reinforcements in the little holes You can buy a box for ten cents and you should have a vocabulary section It means 'cursed' --anathema-- here, I'll spell it for you on the board and it's pronounced 'an-AAAAA-the-muh' Make sure you watch your spelling and pronunciation this year A spelling mistake is worse by far than a grammar error It's a stigma it marks you as an ignorant person and no one wants to be marked that way but who knows maybe some of you don't care There's really no excuse for a spelling error anyway everyone should have a dictionary at home and there are several on the shelf in this room and see that you use them and while I'm on the subject of dictionaries at home there are certain books that everyone should have as part of their home libraries I'm assuming, of course, that you all have libraries started Every home should have a good dictionary and I mean a good one not just a pocket dictionary a copy of the Bible Shakespeare's works how many have Shakespeare's works at home? Raise your hands I said RAISE YOUR HANDS! (all RAISE HANDS!) I'll give you a book list later and we'll go through it and mark off all the books that any educated person should have on his or her shelf if he or she wants to be called educated Now you all have your book inventory cards so follow my directions Put your last name first in the space provided and your first name last Please print Now the title of the first book 'Myths and Folklore' and the publisher now enter the price of the book three dollars and sixty cents that's what you pay if you lose it and now the condition of the book good fair or poor most of these are good now the book number you'll find it on the label inside the front cover now do the same for the other book and make sure by tomorrow they are covered now pass these cards forward and I'll ask this young man to alphabetize the cards What's your name son? Algernon? and they call you Algae? Now we have shortened periods today and the bell is going to ring shortly so in the remaining time I will answer any questions that any of you may have about what we are going to be doing between now and the end of the year Remember this is the beginning of your high school career and you should want to get off to as good a beginning as you can so you won't be sorry you wasted your time at the end and become a homeless person a good beginning means a good end Remember school is like life...begin well end well." (Bells DING-A-LING throughout school in unison!).

...Enough nostalgia? Baron said ENOUGH? (readers in unison say ENOUGH!)