Friday, March 30, 2012

"Much learning doth make thee mad." (ACTS XXVI)

.....OK.  Let's just have some fun, shall we?  I'm going to name the 10 very best colleges and  Universities in the United States--in my opinion, of course.  We'll start out with the top school in the country: 1.C.W. Post; next come 2.Adelphi, and 3.Hofstra; these three are universally known as academic hot spots.  4.University of Bridgeport (It is one of the best for several reasons--It has poor academics, a "shady " administration and the very best reason to go there is that it is located in a shady neighborhood.  At orientation every student is given a device with a "panic" button that when pressed will send swarms of campus policeman to your rescue). There are no complaints about this school.  You can spend a very fine four years there and it is easy to get into. 


5. Best military school--VMI;It gets ranked as one of the best because they refused to allow women in until 1996 when the Supreme Court forced them to.  Obviously now it's a great place for women to be accepted. Next, I pick #6, Michigan State.  I pick this one as one of the best in the country because over 1000 students were arrested for drug and alcohol offensives.  It's the best place to go in the Big Ten because you can do weed and drink martinis and then study--in that order. Next comes #7. Ashford, which offers online courses; it also has Catholic roots and its athletic teams compete as the Saints and fortunately for them, God is on their side.  Now that's a priori proof that Ashford is one of the best and is not for the godless.  8. Boston University, supposedly where students could get a wonderful online education as long as they have a laptop and an Excel or Word program, and if you don't like a professor, you can just play a game. 9. Now if you do not plan to graduate, one of the best colleges to enroll in is the University of the District of Columbia  whose graduation rate is 8%.  So, if you only have 50 bucks for tuition that's the best place for you--you can join the 8%. And 10, Southern University at New Orleans whose graduation rate is 5% which shows the effects of Hurricane Katrina that devastated the campus. Thus, for those who do not want to go to college, go to Southern University and wait for the next hurricane.  So, make of it as you will, these are my choices for the best colleges and Universities in the country--and who can deny it?

1 comment:

  1. ruth.grimsley@virgin.netMarch 30, 2012 at 9:58 PM

    Smashing stuff, Baron!..Here in England uni fees have just been put up to a horribly high level, and prospective students aren't even applying, because it's 3 years of hard study, and it gets them into debt, and most importantly, there are no jobs at the end of it. Small wonder that the less exalted institutions, who all thought that they could get away with charging the max allowable fees, are struggling to get applicants. My idea is that they should hold a "July Sale" in which they can reduce their fees to attract the punters. My husband thinks it might even happen: and WORK!!! Cuzzin Ruth

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