...And the beat goes on!
...I have shared many e-mails and letters with you, my friends, children, grandchildren and anonymouses--from former students, friends, and relations that have been very kind to me--some of which truly had me blushing; that's why this blog is red. (No pun intended). Since that is true, it is only fair that I also share with you a letter from a writer and performer in this year's "in-house" show who flogged so much skin from my body that Walgreens had no bandaid big enough to cover me, who tore the pacemaker away from out my heart so violently that my A-Fib returned and who caused me no end of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Not a clue was offered as to what caused this tirade, since I could find nothing in my blogs that was as awfully and terribly damaging to her pride and the cast and the show as she claimed. Unless it was my definition of an in-house show?? And what is so bad about that? Is there a better definition? Is the definition untrue? Or perhaps it was because I expressed disappointment at not being asked to the post-show party. I do have a right to express my feelings on my own blog. That's what it's for. I am very curious about this, so if there is anyone at all who can find something so insulting as to elicit such venom, I'd be very appreciative. With no further ado, I'm publishing her letter at my peril.
...Norman, (I didn't address you as "dear" since I feel it would be a wasted word.)
...Your wordy criticism of my friends and production recently came to my attention and I feel a response is in order. I was taught that if I didn't have anything nice to say, perhaps it would be better to remain silent. Apparently, your rearing was different.
...All productions are not liked by all. That includes your attempts at entertainment as well. Some were good and yet, some were not. Your feelings are that the world is wrong and you are right. (An interesting assumption but totally incorrect.) "My Fair Lady." was not a tribute to George Bernard Shaw nor to Professor Higgins, but a tribute to Norman Ross and was not, I am sorry to say, loved by all. That's putting it mildly.
...Since you and I have never been "friends" nor did we even greet each other before this production, I was very surprised, not flattered, to think that you expected me to invite you to the opening night cast party. All the seats at my table were taken by "my friends" and your name never even entered my mind. Would you have invited me if the tables were turned?
...I know you are aware of the time, effort and dedication all the cast members donate to all our in-house productions. These people who give so willingly of themselves should be applauded many times over, not criticized . Having reached the ripe old age of 85 does not give you license to insult people. Your words, simply put, are the ravings of a mean mind.
...As for being creative, you have never had an original production. You simply hide behind the words and music of successful Broadway playwrights to do your book shows. You call that being creative?
...How sad it is that you have to put everyone else down to elevate your own ego.
...Although there are many more issues to discuss, I feel I have noted several interesting ones. Please don't expect to be asked to join my table next year either.
...Sincerely.....
...Well, I can say without reservation & truthfully, that I never, ever, said anything verbally one way or another to anyone at anytime about the performers or the show. The posting of March 18th of my blog was a day before the show, so it would be difficult for me to comment on something I hadn't seen. That posting was written to express Rhoda and my own disappointment and ought not to be taken as an insult to anyone. That we were not asked to the post-show party is no lie. Because I named a few people whom I had worked with in the past and a few I considered my friends simply does not warrant the kind of vitriol that was spewed from this letter. I have honored friends in the past. On the front page of the program of "My Fair Lady" I dedicated the show to five people. Is this "putting people down"? I have yet to receive an acknowledgement of thanks in any shape or form from any of them. This letter that I received is vicious and mean-spirited to the nth degree--and for what?
...Why was my mother insulted when she implies that I was wrongly reared?
...Where and in what manner did I criticize her friends and production? Show me.
...How does she get the notion that I feel the world is wrong and that I am right?
...Why does she put down "My Fair Lady" when I already know something was lacking and that my own performance stunk (stank?)?
...What does my age have to do with her comment that I have the license to insult people? (Who is being insulted now?)
...How does she know that my words are "the ravings of a mean mind"? I don't recall any "raving". Where in my writing is it "raving"?
...Why does she claim I am "hiding" when I prefer to play in a book show? Where did she pick up such an idea? "Hiding"? Really?
...At what point and at what time and where have I ever"put everyone down" to elevate my ego? I don't recall putting anyone down--especially not "everyone".
However, I will admit to putting Bush down.
...And what are "the many more issues" to discuss? I don't think we've had any discussion or dialog at all--just her letter which doesn't qualify as a discussion.
...Finally, I do not expect to be invited to join her table next year. It will be the furthest thing from my mind. Her letter is a phantasmagoria of imagination.
Nasty and unappealing.
ReplyDeleteIn times when I am perplexed or deep in though, I often turn to the masters and find comfort in words. Here's a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson that seems germane:
ReplyDelete"Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays."
If she were taught not to say anything bad, she didn't learn her lessons well. So sad that she had to stoop so low. Who would want her as a friend?
ReplyDeletePerhaps the insulter is one of the people you named as someone who should have invited you to the cast gathering. If so, that explains part of her seemingly illogical anger. I searched your blog for your "wordy criticism" of the production, but I did not find it. You did have a Shakespeare quote that hinted at a poor performance, and you hinted in a comment response that your opinion was not a good one -- but I feel you were quite refrained in saying anything negative. In fact, you mentioned that you and Rhoda enjoyed the show.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that some people cannot bear even a hint of negative feedback, and they respond by striking back in an inappropriately personal manner. One thing that is obvious -- she has admittedly disobeyed her own mother's rules about not saying something negative. She is not only a mediocre performer and unable to learn from criticism, but she is, by her own standards, a bad daughter.
Doc, I read your "offensive" post and then parsed it. You know that I will criticize you when warranted, but in this case you are as innocent as a new-born baseball season.
ReplyDeleteYou registered a legitimate feeling of hurt which, impartially, was justified under the circumstances.
In this you were correct BUT, as I have been telling you for years, if they don't "get it," ef them all but six and save those for pallbearers.
This woman believes herself to be arbiter elegantiarum when she is far from that. She is hereby sentenced to six months of remedial reading and an indeterminate sentence in understanding human feelings.
Up the Irish! Up the Clan Ross! Up the Doc!
Circle the wagons, boys and girls, and keep the barbarians from the gates!
Phil B.
"who flogged so much skin from my body that Walgreens had no bandaid big enough to cover me, who tore the pacemaker away from out my heart so violently that my A-Fib returned and who caused me no end of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder."
ReplyDeleteDoc Ross
There is a lesson to be learned here. Female dogs bark, jackasses bray, and we ignore them. Why then do we respond to so-called human incarnations of these dumb animals?
Let us resolve not to be affected by such creatures and to let them wallow in their own bitter stew while we continue to enjoy our lives.
Phil B.
He is grateful for the support shown in six beautiful comments; a new record! If we get six more, I believe that will be sufficient for a jury. We'll settle for that.
ReplyDelete