"O Lord, what fools these mortals be." (Midsummer Night's Dream)

.....I always wanted to be famous, like most people I assume, but as yet I have not achieved that goal. I can't say that I haven't tried. My very first attempt at fame was to kill as many Germans as I could in WWII to avenge the injuries suffered by my father in WWI. It was my goal to win the Congressional Medal of Honor, but somehow it alluded me, and I had to be satisfied with two DFCs. Not that winning the Medal of Honor would have made me famous for all time, because who can remember the names of even a couple of Medal of Honor winners? At least, one can perhaps remember the first two fliers to win DFCs awarded to civilians, by FDR, Amelia Earhart and Charles Lindbergh. I don't mind being in their company--although Lindbergh was a noted anti-Semite. But they are truly famous. Lindbergh even has a restaurant named for him here in Delray Beach called "Lindbergher's". They specialize in serving 50 different hamburgers, one at a time, of course.

.....My next attempt at achieving lasting fame was to be the greatest teacher of all time, surpassing even Socrates and Plato. But it was not to be. Although I have my share of appreciative students, I have not found my name in any history book that I have poured over in our library. So, my next attempt was to break the world record in the marathon run by such renowned runners such as Alberto Salazar, Haile Gebrselassie, and Emil Zatopek; but most of all by Pheidippides who 2500 years ago brought the good news to Athens that the Greeks had defeated the Persians in the Battle of Marathon. Pheidippides did not stop for a breath or water for 26.2 miles, the distance from the battle to Athens, and for his heroic effort, died on the spot. For this attempt at fame, for several years, I popped aspirin and ran from five to ten miles a day, and finally I entered the NY Marathon in 1982, hoping not to drop dead, but I finished--alive--four and a half hours behind Alberto Salazar who had already eaten lunch, showered, and napped for an hour before I got to the tape. Perhaps if I had taken steroids, I might have succeeded, but now we shall never know.

.....But, I was adamant in my quest for the Golden Helmet of Mambrino, and so after moving to Florida and finding the secrets of computer acuity, I was able to write my Memoirs, hoping that it would become known on Oprah and forever as the Great American Autobiography. It is still available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Borders, but thus far I have only received $12.50 in royalties, and so my book has gone down in flames; and so, too, my effort to achieve fame in the literary world, along with such books as Tom Sawyer and the Bible.

.....Still not discouraged, I auditioned for several Off Broadway Broadway musicals here in our Theatre of the Performing Arts, and I was fortunate enough to play lead roles in many of them. I had the opportunity of achieving lasting fame as the greatest living and dead actor of all time, and perhaps even the subject of articles in People Magazine, but although I searched for my name in the local entertainment sections of the local newspapers, it was not forthcoming.

....."Fame is the spur that the clear spirit doth raise...

To scorn delights and live laborious days." ('Lycidas', John Milton)