The Sunshine, Rain, Lightning, and Hurricane State

.....Yesterday I wrote about the nutritional habits of seniors in South Florida, and today I will continue to delineate the activities indigenous to this area by residents of the numerous condominium communities that have more social unions flourishing than do a month's worth of Facebook or Twitter entries. About 98% of the retirees who now live here are from Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, and Pittsburgh. Those who come from any other area of the country are about as sparse as Democrats at a Tea Party rally. It appears, as well, that these retirees divide themselves into various condominiums according to their religiosity--such as Jewish condos, Protestant condos, Catholic condos, and who knows? Perhaps Islamic condos. Most Jewish condos are located on the East coast of Florida; most of the others on the West coast and Boynton Beach. Talk of "birds of a feather flocking together!" However, keep in mind that those living on the West coast must come East if they want a bagel.

.....Now I can't speak for the activities at other condo communities, but at ours--here at Huntington Lakes in Delray Beach--we have the New England Club, the Greater Philadelphia Club (Lesser than Greater Philadelphians, I assume, are excluded), the Pittsburgh Club, the Boomers' Club (for those under 80), the New Generation Club (for seniors with Gregorian calendars or inflated egos), the Men's Club (a sexist organization), the Singles Club (with mostly women, of course). Now, we also have clubs for athletic types such as the Ping Pong Club, the Shuffleboard Club, the Canasta Club and the Paddle Ball Club. We offer, if you can believe it, a Snowbird Club which meets every first Sunday at 10:30am in the ballroom. In the summer months attendees at this club's meetings are about as sparse as Palestinians at a Passover Seder. And thanks to Snowbirds we get our restaurants back.

.....But then there are the specialty clubs like the Anglers Club for those who are hooked on fishing; the Duplicate Bridge Club--confusing because there is really only one; the Computer Club (often in need of a grandchild); the Library Club; the Billiard League (really? A whole league?) with experts to cue members how to play. For those seniors with some sporting blood and leftover agility there is the Tennis Club, the Golf Club, two Bowling Clubs for members with balls, and the Outside Volleyball Club (there really is no indoor club). And finally, there are the artsy clubs such as the Dance Club, the Choral Society, the Library Club, the Karaoke Club (practice for cruising, I suppose), the Wood Sculpters Club, a splinter group, and for those with thespian bents, there is the Theater Workshop.

.....But not everything is confined to the reservation. For those who wish to embark on other endeavors, there are the slot machines, poker, and blackjack tables at local casinos--Las Vegas style. Who needs the Strip? And for seniors about to retire, don't forget that down here we have Disney World, Sea World, Lion Safari Country, Key West, and a gigantic oil slick to keep you from bathing and therefore safe from shark bites and pelican poop. Come on down! Bring a friend.