"Remembrance of things past" (Proust)

.....Since RH+ has been ill, and I have been helping her with things that she needs done, I thought it would help me with my blog to print one that I did some time ago and which was published in the newspaper. Perhaps no one will remember it and it will seem like new.

"Like a dull actor now, I have forgot my part..." (Coriolanus)

.....I was lying on my bed about 9pm minding my own business and working on a crossword puzzle while my wife was playing games on the computer when she suddenly appeared in the doorway and asked a silly question: "Is there any reason why the water in the kitchen sink is running?" Well, of course there was a reason. It stands to reason that there was a reason; the reason being that I had recently washed a fork that I had used on a piece of cake. Now I thought that washing the fork was a thoughtful thing to do; the unthoughtful thing to not do was to not turn the faucet off. I really can't be expected to remember everything.

..... But this was not the first time that I forgot to turn something off. The other day I made an Eggo for my breakfast in the toaster oven. When I had finished off that cardboard waffle and went to check my email, my wife...as was her wont...appeared in the den doorway and asked a silly question: "Is there any reason why you left the toaster on at 350 degrees? Do you want to start a fire?"

Well, of course I wanted to start a fire; why else would I leave the toaster oven on? I always wanted to try pyromaniacle things. (Well, maybe that's not the right terminology for lighting fires). But, so I left the oven on; I can't be expected to remember everything every single day.

.....But remembering to turn things off (or on) is not the only thing that I'm being admonished for...or rather, for which I've been admonished. A couple of times, while driving at night, and having to make a left turn, I accidentally turned into the lane of oncoming traffic instead of the lane I needed to turn into on the other side of the center strip. So I was again asked a silly question: "Why are you turning into this lane? It's the wrong lane! Do you want to cause an accident?" Well, of course I wanted to cause an accident. Why else would I turn into the wrong lane for the second time in two nights? How else is a person going to find out if the premiums he is paying the insurance company are going to lead to some road service? How else is he to know whether or not the police are doing their job?

..... If only my wife would understand these things a little better, growing older would be a snap. Hey, I'm not forgetful or blind driving at night; I'm just a daredevil at heart. If the lady would only try to understand that I was a combat air crewman and I feed on danger, and that there is always a reason to explain my actions...or reactions.

.....Yesterday we went to the Isle Casino and I won $160 on the slot machines. We got there about 3:30 and left at 8. They were giving away $500 every 15 minutes as long as your players card was lodged in a machine so they could call out your name. Our name was not called. Perhaps because we went to the buffet at 5:30 for our dinner. I had vowed to bring home a piece of the chocolate checkerboard cake that is outrageously delicious before we left for home, but while in the car, my wife asked a silly question: "Is there a reason why you forgot to order the checkerboard cake?"