"The worst thing that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhappy constantly." (J.D. Salinger)

This is another guest blog, by order of The Red Baron himself. Just after managing to escape from the rigorous regime of health and constant care at the rehab center, his Internet router apparently decided to need its own rehab and has abruptly shut down. I mean to say that The Red Baron is the one who manged to escape, not the router. The router, after all, is an inanimate object that routes things from one place to another. And when I write "routes", I am thinking in my mind that I am pronouncing it like it rhymes with "bouts" rather than "boots." Of course, if you are Canadian (and why, for God's sake, would you be?), you would pronounce "about" as "aboot." That would really confuse things, if you readers could hear me thinking the word, and if I were Canadian. But you can't, and I am not. Now, where was I, and why do you have me discussing Canadians?

Oh, I remember, the router. It seems that The Red Baron is not able to access the Internet. Since he cannot get to the Internet, he is unable to write his blog. Well, he can write his blog, but he is unable to post it online. In either case, his words cannot appear here until he fixes the router or buys a new one. By "fix," I mean to say that he would have someone come over to his place and undertake whatever repairs are necessary to get the router working again. It could be that the router is too old and needs to be replaced. By "too old," I mean to say that it's more than a few months old. The way that each "dog year" is equal to about (not "aboot") 7 human years, the lifespan of a router is measured in months. So, if you have a router that is a bit more than a year old, it probably fondly remembers having routed information packets about the Bush presidency and other ancient history (in router terms), including who won the last Major League Soccer chamipionship (something that no human is able to recall). When I say it "routed" packets, I don't mean that it "defeated" them; I mean that it "directed" them. Napolean, after all, "routed" his enemies, which is to say that he defeated them. I don't think I recall reading anywhere that he "directed" his enemies from one area of the battlefield to another. That wouldn't make any sense at all!

So, my point is that The Red Baron is unable to write his blog, and he was very concerned that his faithful readers (and his unfaithful ones, and you know who you are) would be too disappointed to see that nothing has been written here, and might even give up and go away forever. So, I am here on behalf of The Red Baron to let you know that he will be back soon, and that you should find a hobby or something to keep you occupied until his return. The Red Baron has told me about his readers, so if you do decide to start a new hobby, I implore you not to select something that requires you to use a sharp instrument. Or a rooter.