"A healthy child, well nursed, is a very nourishing food." (Swift)

.....I don't know how I got into this business of writing about the ten "best" things in our lives--well, mine anyway; must have something to do with aging.  Today I think I'll write about food.  We'll start with breakfast.  The three very best breakfasts I feel are Farina, Wheeteena, and Ralston.  They are the best for creating courage and fortitude for the slings and arrows sure to come...eventually. And you certainly want to do that. Courage is a blessing and these three  will do it for you. For lunch let's say  Chipotle Chicken Burrito - With rice, pinto beans, cheese, chicken, sour cream, and salsa, you get 1,040 calories and 16-1/2 grams of saturated fat - the same as three Subway Steak and Cheese 6-inch Subs. Plus the burrito comes with 2,500 milligrams of sodium! Ordering it without cheese or sour cream cuts the saturated fat to 3-1/2 grams, but you surely don't want to do that. If you become obese there will be more of you for your spouse and friends to love.  Carumba!  

.....OH” sure I told my friends. “I’ll go eat sushi with you.” I had no idea they were actually ordering turds on a plate. Slimy seaweed wrapped around what tasted and smelled like vomit and sewage. I don’t even know what these vehicles of death are but if I ever see them again I’m running straight towards them.  And you may ask why I consider sushi one of the ten best foods?  Simple; to show people that I am not a racist and that Japanese food is good for the American way--and especially so for the Tea Party.

.....Number 7 in this litany of very best food is boiled chicken in the pot. This is something you cannot get at Kentucky Fried.  When you have properly prepared yourself for this fascinating dish, and finish every morsel, you will never need a laxative again.  It's a lot like quitting smoking and that is also an accomplishment. So dine on some sushi for lunch or for dinner.

.....8. Either for lunch or dinner at Burger King--the triple whopper ....Three flame-broiled beef patties with two slices of American cheese, crisp lettuce, creamy mayo, red ripe tomatoes, pickles and onions–all on a toasted sesame seed bun. It’s once, twice, three times the tasty, and it’s waiting for you.  But the Home of the Whopper has more food that is good for you, like frostys.  Frankly, I don’t even know how anyone can open their mouth wide enough to fit in a TRIPLE Whopper!  But that's the reason for being eighth best--it gets you to exercise your mouth for a change instead of your abs all the time.  In discussions, for example, people will be impressed by your mouth's competence and performance...but that doesn't mean that they like will like it.  But to hell with them.

.....The ninth and tenth of what I consider the very best food are so very best that there is no point in writing about them.  You wouldn't eat them anyway; you'll only eat food that is bad for you, like broccoli.

"Much learning doth make thee mad." (ACTS XXVI)

.....OK.  Let's just have some fun, shall we?  I'm going to name the 10 very best colleges and  Universities in the United States--in my opinion, of course.  We'll start out with the top school in the country: 1.C.W. Post; next come 2.Adelphi, and 3.Hofstra; these three are universally known as academic hot spots.  4.University of Bridgeport (It is one of the best for several reasons--It has poor academics, a "shady " administration and the very best reason to go there is that it is located in a shady neighborhood.  At orientation every student is given a device with a "panic" button that when pressed will send swarms of campus policeman to your rescue). There are no complaints about this school.  You can spend a very fine four years there and it is easy to get into. 


5. Best military school--VMI;It gets ranked as one of the best because they refused to allow women in until 1996 when the Supreme Court forced them to.  Obviously now it's a great place for women to be accepted. Next, I pick #6, Michigan State.  I pick this one as one of the best in the country because over 1000 students were arrested for drug and alcohol offensives.  It's the best place to go in the Big Ten because you can do weed and drink martinis and then study--in that order. Next comes #7. Ashford, which offers online courses; it also has Catholic roots and its athletic teams compete as the Saints and fortunately for them, God is on their side.  Now that's a priori proof that Ashford is one of the best and is not for the godless.  8. Boston University, supposedly where students could get a wonderful online education as long as they have a laptop and an Excel or Word program, and if you don't like a professor, you can just play a game. 9. Now if you do not plan to graduate, one of the best colleges to enroll in is the University of the District of Columbia  whose graduation rate is 8%.  So, if you only have 50 bucks for tuition that's the best place for you--you can join the 8%. And 10, Southern University at New Orleans whose graduation rate is 5% which shows the effects of Hurricane Katrina that devastated the campus. Thus, for those who do not want to go to college, go to Southern University and wait for the next hurricane.  So, make of it as you will, these are my choices for the best colleges and Universities in the country--and who can deny it?

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Thomas

.....I just learned from somewhere in this Google blog services that I've published 388 posts. Actually, I've written much more than 388. But whose counting?  I really should be working on my Great American Novel, but I have writer's block on that effort at the moment. Cuzzin Ruthie says it will only be the third best novel.  However, in my defense, I never said what number novel of greatness mine would be. As of now, I suspect it will be somewhere between the 2037th and 2075th best novel ever written. But, who cares?  It's acceptance is not the goal; the goal is to write it and finish it and let Lulu publish it and then let the Devil take the hindmost--whatever that means.

.....Another sad event has occurred among those that have happened recently. Leila Fallet died. Leila had the voice of an opera singer and she played important parts in the book shows that we produced here for our stage..and we did many B'way performances--but way off B'way. I hope this passing away is not catching; John Reardon died, Tom O'Connor, Howard Wolfe, a downstairs neighbor Danny, and now Leila. I'm going to Walgreen's or CVS tomorrow to see if they have any preventive over-the-counter medication. I'm not prepared to go just yet.

.....Even Rhoda's laptop passed away peacefully. Consequently, we went to Best Buy and bought her a new one. A geek there took all the stuff Rho had on the old one and transferred them to the new one.  Rhoda is no expert on the computer, but she does very well. Only on occasion do I have to help her--if I can.  I try to think about what we did when we didn't have computers. I know I never could have written my autobiography on a typewriter; and blogs were not well known, nor was email.  We had to depend on the telephone to communicate with our kids or grandkids. And the weird thing to note is that before the telphone, there were smoke signal.