"Remembrance of things past" (Proust)

.....Since RH+ has been ill, and I have been helping her with things that she needs done, I thought it would help me with my blog to print one that I did some time ago and which was published in the newspaper. Perhaps no one will remember it and it will seem like new.

"Like a dull actor now, I have forgot my part..." (Coriolanus)

.....I was lying on my bed about 9pm minding my own business and working on a crossword puzzle while my wife was playing games on the computer when she suddenly appeared in the doorway and asked a silly question: "Is there any reason why the water in the kitchen sink is running?" Well, of course there was a reason. It stands to reason that there was a reason; the reason being that I had recently washed a fork that I had used on a piece of cake. Now I thought that washing the fork was a thoughtful thing to do; the unthoughtful thing to not do was to not turn the faucet off. I really can't be expected to remember everything.

..... But this was not the first time that I forgot to turn something off. The other day I made an Eggo for my breakfast in the toaster oven. When I had finished off that cardboard waffle and went to check my email, my wife...as was her wont...appeared in the den doorway and asked a silly question: "Is there any reason why you left the toaster on at 350 degrees? Do you want to start a fire?"

Well, of course I wanted to start a fire; why else would I leave the toaster oven on? I always wanted to try pyromaniacle things. (Well, maybe that's not the right terminology for lighting fires). But, so I left the oven on; I can't be expected to remember everything every single day.

.....But remembering to turn things off (or on) is not the only thing that I'm being admonished for...or rather, for which I've been admonished. A couple of times, while driving at night, and having to make a left turn, I accidentally turned into the lane of oncoming traffic instead of the lane I needed to turn into on the other side of the center strip. So I was again asked a silly question: "Why are you turning into this lane? It's the wrong lane! Do you want to cause an accident?" Well, of course I wanted to cause an accident. Why else would I turn into the wrong lane for the second time in two nights? How else is a person going to find out if the premiums he is paying the insurance company are going to lead to some road service? How else is he to know whether or not the police are doing their job?

..... If only my wife would understand these things a little better, growing older would be a snap. Hey, I'm not forgetful or blind driving at night; I'm just a daredevil at heart. If the lady would only try to understand that I was a combat air crewman and I feed on danger, and that there is always a reason to explain my actions...or reactions.

.....Yesterday we went to the Isle Casino and I won $160 on the slot machines. We got there about 3:30 and left at 8. They were giving away $500 every 15 minutes as long as your players card was lodged in a machine so they could call out your name. Our name was not called. Perhaps because we went to the buffet at 5:30 for our dinner. I had vowed to bring home a piece of the chocolate checkerboard cake that is outrageously delicious before we left for home, but while in the car, my wife asked a silly question: "Is there a reason why you forgot to order the checkerboard cake?"

"The heart is wiser than the intellect."

.....After all these years, one wonders whether or not any wisdom has been achieved; that is, wisdom that can be passed on to others who are in need of it. Yesterday, RH+ and I dined at a Chinese restaurant and I couldn't wait until we got the fortune cookies to see if there was anything wise in them that I might be able to use. However, I ordered lobster in black bean sauce and I didn't want to rush though a dish I like to savor. I wolfed down the chocolate ice cream I got for dessert and then Rhoda opened the fortune cookies--we were lucky--we got four of them containing the great wisdom of China, and these are what we got:

"You know where you are going and how to get there." Very wise, but I couldn't use it because I've already gotten there. Next was, "You are an outgoing and fun person." This didn't strike me as being a wise saying; in fact it is incorrect--I'm not very outgoing, and I doubt that I am considered 'fun'. Still looking for wisdom, we got "You are what you do, not what you say." Of course, this could be considered wise, but I'm not so sure about it because I can't interpret the full meaning. And finally we got, "You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life." This, a great disappointment. I never figured myself being a crispy noodle, especially in a 'vegetarian salad', since I'm definitely not a vegetarian. If these 'wise sayings' out of our fortune cookies represent Chinese wisdom gathered over 5000 years, then one wonders what in the world they were doing all that time.

.....Well, perhaps we were in the wrong Chinese restaurant. Either that or the owners were Korean; hard to tell. I don't remember learning Korea being a source of wisdom. What I was looking for was something like the following:

"A road twice traveled is twice as long." Very wise, but tiring. "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner." Could be wise, but suggests sea-sickness to get there. "Never exaggerate your faults. Your friends will attend to that." Don't see any wisdom here. I would never discuss my faults because I'm not sure what they are. Or, "When you read about the evils of drinking, give up reading." Now, finally some wisdom! I wonder if Confucius came up with that one. I guess I've lived long enough to acquire a bit of wisdom myself without having to go looking for it. It's good to have some; one is in great need of it to get through life but don't look for it in fortune cookies. Now, there's wisdom.

"Speak low if you speak love..." (Much Ado)

..... I've always been saddened by the story of the two great lovers, Pyramus and Thisbe. Oh, I suppose everyone knows about Antony and Cleopatra and Romeo and Juliet and Pygmalion and Galatea but Pyramus and Thisbe? Perhaps not. But once in one's life one needs to know about true love and Shakespeare said, "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds..." In other words, love doesn't die because of a great problem, which is the kind of problem these two lovers encountered. They both lived in Babylon the city of Semiramis in houses so close together that one wall separated them both. They were both beautiful young people and as time went on they learned to love each other and desired to marry. However, their parents forbade it--for reasons unknown. Maybe Thisbe was Jewish.

.....Fortunately, in that wall between the houses, there was a little chink which heretofore no one had noticed. The two lovers then, although they could not see each other or kiss, they were able to whisper sweetly to each other and as night came on they pressed kisses to the wall which could not go through to the lips on the other side. As time wore on their love grew passionately and exponentially, and one dark night they agreed to slip away into the countryside and meet by the Tomb of Ninus. While Thisbe waited for Pyramus she saw a lioness with mouth all bloody from a recent kill. The beast was far enough away for Thisbe to run and escape, but as she fled she dropped her cloak. The lioness came upon it and ripped it apart covering it with blood. (Aha! now you're getting the idea!). When Pyramus came and saw the cloak he kissed it again and again knowing that she had died. He believed it was he who bore the guilt for not being able to protect her, so he went below a mulberry tree whose berries were snow white upon the ground. He took his sword and plunged it into his side. Shortly, Thisbe, believing she was now safe went back to the site of the tryst and there beneath the tree she saw her dead lover and vowing never to be separated from him plunged his sword into her heart and the blood of these two lovers turned the mulberry tree's berries red and ever since the berries of a mulberry tree are red. The two were united in death and the parents placed their ashes together into one urn. Why does life deal ill unto good people? Also, where was Zeus all this time? No doubt chasing women.

.....In Shakespeare's "Midsummer Night's Dream" he pokes fun at this mythical story by having "mechanicals" perform "Pyramus and Thisbe" before a gathering in a forest--a play within a play. One guy--a tinker or plumber, I believe, is given a leading role of the chink in the wall; now if I played the chink I would put my thumb and index finger together in order to make a little hole for speaking through; another plays moonlight; another performs the part of the lion. I don't believe this play would go over in Shakespeare in the park. Perhaps on HBO.