"A woman is a dish for the gods." (Antony & Cleopatra)

…..I’ve often wondered who it is that does some work around here?  Who rises at almost dawn (8a.m.), has some breakfast, usually some oatmeal or cereal or cottage cheese and fruit or peanut butter and an English muffin?  Who makes the bed and who changes the linen when it’s needed?  Who is it that puts out the bath towels for whomever might wish to take a shower?  Who replaces the toilet tissue when it rolls all the way out?  Who takes clothing out of the hamper, puts it in the washer and then the dryer and then folds everything that pops out of it?  And who puts the folded stuff away?  Who cooks the meals here once or twice a week and then clears the table and puts the dishes in the dishwasher and then empties it and puts the clean plates and silverware on the proper shelves?  Who selects restaurants for dining three or four times a week and then pays for it with another’s credit card?  And who can answer these questions?  Who is it that plays cards on Monday nights and Tuesday afternoons, and who is it that goes  bowling every Thursday afternoon?  Who does this, eh?

…..And who gets her nails done every Friday and who gets her hair done every Saturday morning?  Who has been the President of the City of Hope charitable organization chapter in Huntington Lakes for the past four years, and whose chapter has raised thousands of dollars to donate to this medical research hospital in California?  Who is it that vows never to do this again, but who, nevertheless, enjoys the leadership role she plays?  Who sees to it that birthday, anniversary, and holiday cards are sent out every month when needed?  Who does all the food shopping at Publix every once in a blue Florida moon?  Who maintains at least 50 pairs of shoes in her closet?  And who can pass Marmi’s in the mall without trying on at least one more pair?  Who is it that’s computer literate and who spends several hours every week attempting to answer all the emails she receives and who is it that is addicted to a certain game on her laptop?  Who is it that carries band-aids in her purse to keep a certain party from bleeding to death.  Who lunches with every friend who loves her and holds her in high esteem?  Who is it that holds a certain party by the hand while he attempts not to fall while using a cane?  Who is it that reads one book on her kindle while reading another in large print from the library?  And who is a grandmother supreme?

…..Now if I can only find out who it is that does all this and still remains compos mentis I’d be willing to pay her a few bucks.