"A woman is a dish for the gods." (Antony & Cleopatra)

…..I’ve often wondered who it is that does some work around here?  Who rises at almost dawn (8a.m.), has some breakfast, usually some oatmeal or cereal or cottage cheese and fruit or peanut butter and an English muffin?  Who makes the bed and who changes the linen when it’s needed?  Who is it that puts out the bath towels for whomever might wish to take a shower?  Who replaces the toilet tissue when it rolls all the way out?  Who takes clothing out of the hamper, puts it in the washer and then the dryer and then folds everything that pops out of it?  And who puts the folded stuff away?  Who cooks the meals here once or twice a week and then clears the table and puts the dishes in the dishwasher and then empties it and puts the clean plates and silverware on the proper shelves?  Who selects restaurants for dining three or four times a week and then pays for it with another’s credit card?  And who can answer these questions?  Who is it that plays cards on Monday nights and Tuesday afternoons, and who is it that goes  bowling every Thursday afternoon?  Who does this, eh?

…..And who gets her nails done every Friday and who gets her hair done every Saturday morning?  Who has been the President of the City of Hope charitable organization chapter in Huntington Lakes for the past four years, and whose chapter has raised thousands of dollars to donate to this medical research hospital in California?  Who is it that vows never to do this again, but who, nevertheless, enjoys the leadership role she plays?  Who sees to it that birthday, anniversary, and holiday cards are sent out every month when needed?  Who does all the food shopping at Publix every once in a blue Florida moon?  Who maintains at least 50 pairs of shoes in her closet?  And who can pass Marmi’s in the mall without trying on at least one more pair?  Who is it that’s computer literate and who spends several hours every week attempting to answer all the emails she receives and who is it that is addicted to a certain game on her laptop?  Who is it that carries band-aids in her purse to keep a certain party from bleeding to death.  Who lunches with every friend who loves her and holds her in high esteem?  Who is it that holds a certain party by the hand while he attempts not to fall while using a cane?  Who is it that reads one book on her kindle while reading another in large print from the library?  And who is a grandmother supreme?

…..Now if I can only find out who it is that does all this and still remains compos mentis I’d be willing to pay her a few bucks.

Bardolatry II

.....Whenever I think of Shakespeare sitting down to write a play with a goose feathered quill pen, I tend to say to myself, "This cannot happen. This cannot be done. It isn't possible."  In P.S. 39 in the Bronx when I was 10 or 11 in the sixth grade I had an inkwell in my desk and a pen with a metal disk which I had to dip into the ink and write with it--often having to use a "blotter" to soak up a bubble of ink that dripped onto the paper.  It took forever to write anything.  Shakespeare did not have the benefit of Papermate ballpoint pens or a word processor on his computer.  Now, I wonder, did he write a play all the way through without a single error or correction that needed to be made?  Did he not have whiteout? Did he not have to write and rewrite as he went along?  And did he not have to write a whole play over again after making corrections in the margins?  (I did read somewhere that Tolstoy's wife had to copy his "War and Peace" thirteen times to get it right.)

.....  Now, Shakespeare, besides writing 36 plays and 154 sonnets, was also an actor and had to take time to learn his lines.  He was a member of the Lord Chamberlain's Company--a group of actors who contributed funds for the building of the Globe Theatre and they held shares in it.  And Shakespeare, though not the accomplished actor as was Richard Burbage, still performed in many plays.   Nevertheless, after his acting and his writing, he still managed the time to share a pint of ale in a Bidford inn with his friends and to exercise his love life.

.....In November 1582, at the age of 18, he married Anne Hathaway, eight years his senior after she informed him that she was pregnant with their first child, Susanna.  There is evidence that Anne's family pressured young William to make her an honest woman.  It was the custom in Elizabethan times to announce the "banns" three times during church services over a period of three weeks as a method of giving an objector to the marriage enough time to come forward; but the banns were announced only once--very unusual--and of course, very hasty.  Twins, Hamnet (who died at the age of eleven), and Judith were born in 1585.  Shakespeare never made it to Hamnet's funeral because he was off to the countryside with a traveling troupe and there was no telling where he was at the time, and no way to get a message to him.  By 1592 Shakespeare had gone to London, already known as an actor and a playwright.  Those who try to give credit for the plays to some other "University educated" guy from Oxford or Cambridge are smoking the wrong weed.  The evidence that Will of Stratford was Will of the plays is overwhelming.  Now, I've been teaching the plays for many years and when someone complains to me that they are too hard to understand, I say to them that only the things that are above you can lift you up.  If I were to be stranded on a desert Island, I would like to bring with me my toothbrush, a roll of toilet paper, a six pack of diet Coke, several pairs of clean underwear, and a copy of Shakespeare's plays.

Bardolatry

.....The other day in the Theatre Workshop class held in our clubhouse, I acted the graveyard scene from "Hamlet" and took all four parts from memory: Hamlet, Horatio, Gravedigger and Yorick.  Hamlet is walking with Horatio, his best--and probably only--friend through a graveyard on his way to Elsinore after returning from England where he had been sent by his uncle, Claudius. A gravedigger is singing while digging a grave for Ophelia, Hamlet's sweetheart, who has committed suicide in his absence--without his knowledge. Hamlet hears him and says, "Horatio, has this fellow no feeling for his business that he sings at gravemaking?" Horatio replies, "Perhaps custom has made it a property of easiness to him." The scene continues with repartee between Hamlet and the gravedigger until he is shown the scull of Yorick, the King's jester--a sort of Jay Leno in calico.  It is then that Hamlet begins his famous monologue "Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio".  It is hard to believe that there is someone who has never heard those opening lines somewhere in time.

.....I first heard of Shakespeare when I was in the sixth grade and I was made to learn a speech from "Macbeth."  It occurs while Macbeth was on his way to assassinate King Duncan who is staying as a guest, and who is currently asleep in the dark of the night.  Macbeth is not too happy about doing this job, but has been urged by Lady Macbeth to be a man and do it.  His manhood being tested, he is on his way below the staircase leading to Duncan's quarters when a visionary dagger appears before his eyes and he cries out, "Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle towards my hand?  Come! Let me clutch thee!  (He reaches for it, but cannot "clutch" it).  I have thee not, and yet I see thee still." He goes on, "Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible to feeling as to sight? Or art thou but a dagger of the mind--a false creation proceeding from the heat oppressed brain?"  Well, when I began reading this speech, it didn't touch me to the quick until I read it aloud and it jumped out at me; it came to life like Venus before Adonis.  I suddenly understood that Shakespeare's great poetry was not meant to be read silently--but aloud, and that reading it aloud leads to understanding.  I kept reading that soliloquy aloud even under the covers in my bed--such great joy it gave to me.

.....This speech piqued my interest and I went to the school library and took out the book on Macbeth.  When one gets to the scene where the three witches are boiling their broth awaiting the man whom they are enticing by incantation to do the evil deed of murder, one must certainly read it aloud in order to hear Shakespeare's music--try it and see: 

"Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble. Fillet of a fenny snake, In the cauldron boil and bake; Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog; Adders fork and blind-worms sting; Lizard's leg and howlet's wing; For a charm of powerful trouble; Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."  (I'll say this--if this witch takes a job as a chef here in a South Florida restaurant, I would be hesitant to go there.) Now, when I read this aloud--in the sixth grade-- I was hooked on Shakespeare.  And I can't understand why everyone else is not.  (I'm not finished with y'all).

Beyond the Age of Consent & Into the Future on the Good Ship Enterprise.

.....Now that I am a number of years past the age of consent, I never thought at that time what might be in store for me a few years later—like now.  At one time, I used to be 6’4”, 195lbs of pure muscle, and now I’m down to 5’7” and the same number of pounds.  How did that happen?  Ain’t life grand.  But that is not the end of this mystery novel.  I once jogged all day and took only one aspirin in the morning.  Now, I have upwards of 30 pills in my pill box with no clue as to what each one is supposed to do for me.  Fortunately, Rhoda is the one with the clue, and each Saturday—I believe it’s Saturday—she fills a weekly pill box with the pills prescribed for each day of the week.  They are all very pretty with different shapes and colors.  With all that medication, I am fortunate that most are obtained from the Veterans Administration.

…..And then there are the body parts.  All my extremities were once operating efficiently and athletically.  Now, I only have two of them left in operating condition.  The other two act in conjunction and with the aid of a cane.  Although it might appear distinguished to onlookers, I get the feeling that I look like Charlie Chaplin.  In the event that we go on a bus trip with the Boomers Club, or the New Generation, or the City of Hope, or Cancer Research here in Huntington Lakes  to a casino in Ft. Lauderdale then I have to take a scooter which is loaded onto the bus in the luggage compartment.  The scooter is a helpful aid; it has, I believe, 8 Cylinders, a GPS and some Harley-Davidson stickers that Bobby sent to me from his store in Virginia, and people are deceived into thinking that this is a Harley-Davidson Scooter.  What fools we mortals be!

War Games

.....While being bored, I remembered that on Nov.18—coming shortly—I joined the US Navy in 1942.  That was 68 years ago.  So that fact is sort of freaking me out. There are children today, who could care less about it, whose living grandfathers served in WWII .  In 1980 there were veterans still living who served in WWI.  Now, this is getting interesting. In 1930, when I was six years old, there were veterans still living who served in the Civil War! That is, considering my math is correct; if they were 18 in 1865, then in 1900 they were 53 and in 1930 they were 83. They lived when Lincoln was President!  Just think about it; I knew grandfathers who voted for Abraham Lincoln!! (A Republican). And the topper is that in 1845 there were veterans living who served with George Washington in the Revolutionary War!  So, now maybe, since I'm sending you this piece of useless information, you might believe that I am losing my mind???  Well, I'm really sorry that I never thought of asking one of the vets who voted for Abe for an autograph.  Actually at six years old, I never heard of autographs; but I could have shook hands with one of them, so that I could now look at and show off the hand that shook the hand of someone who voted for Abraham Lincoln! Also, I could have asked a vet how Lincoln was doing in the polls; probably lousy because half the country was in rebellion.  You couldn't call the rebels the Tea Party; more like the Hemlock or Cyanide Party.  Well, they lost. Too bad.

.....Nevertheless, in despite of my musings, one could draw a few parallels between Lincoln's day and our day.  The southern pols claimed that most Americans did not want abolition; that it was unconstitutional; that if they got into power they would repeal any abolitionist legislation.  Well, the northern guys claimed that all Americans should be free; that slavery was unconstitutional; that most Americans wanted abolition; and that they had the votes in Congress.  So the southern pols decided to elect their own president and establish their own country. Very clever.  So, since each party wanted their own way they decided that the best way to solve the impasse was to go to war.  And so they did; and so this solution produced 1,100,000 casualties and almost 62,000 deaths.  Consequently, America, land of the brave and the free, went on solving problems with World War I, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the Kuwaiti War, the Iraqi War, and the Afghanistan War--not to mention all the other battles by which we attempted to end disagreements.   Actually, many millions of lives could be saved if only the warring parties would have their National Basketball Teams play a seven game series, and the nation (or political party) whose team first won four games would then have their own way, and too bad for the losers.  (Under those circumstances we would have a good chance of having our own way)

"What fools these mortals be." (Midsummer Nights Dream)

.....An ardent admirer of mine responded to my blog of yesterday wherein I claimed I am not electronically connected to the gadget world--I am not a "techie"--I'm a poet, thusly:

"There were poets of the industrial revolution and poets of the Civil War and poets of the open road.  You could be a poet of electronic and ultra-connected world our children live in and that we are desperately trying to ignore.  For you to reject modernity in the name of poetry is to deny poetry, itself, access to the 21^st century."

.....I would respond to this poor, misguided soul that I do not generally care to purchase anything that I have to fix, and that my poetry has already entered the 21st century with the publication of my book, "Shadows in the Sunset."  In addition, he also sent me a photo of himself, lounging luxuriously in bed while cruising the Carribbean on the monstrous ship, "Oasis" while listening to his iPod and reading the latest book on his Kindle.  In addition, my friend and former colleague who is living the life of a Persian Prince, was awaiting a response to a text message on his Blackberry, while complaining that he does not have an iPad--as yet!  Now, I do have the same book he is reading on his Kindle which I checked out of the local Library and which has pages to turn and which is how god intended reading to be read.  (I did not capitalize "god" because I was referring to Zeus).  No matter.  Same thing.

.....Now, just to document my claim that I do not like to buy gadgets that I have to fix, this computer has even now become balky and behaving like a badly trained canine.  I have been accustomed to using a "Chrome" browser (because that's how a techie installed it) and I've had no problems writing this blog in whatever colors I choose.  Now suddenly when I finish posting my musings to this blog, it only prints in BLACK!  DAMN!  Now, for the purpose of this blog, I am at the moment using the "Explorer" browser, and after I am finished with this musing, I will await breathlessly after I post it to see if this color will print without turning all black.  Then I will return to "Chrome" and check it out there.  Dear reader, you and I will see together, whether I have succeeded in training this dog.

"Progress--the stride of God." (Victor Hugo)

.....While at the mall one day at Town Center in Boca Raton, I noticed a lot of young people walking around with wires growing out of their ears. Not only that weird sight, but I noticed some boys with their underwear evident accompanied by partial views of their backside. I couldn't understand why China couldn't manufacture boxers that had enough material to cover everything that requires covering. And, as for the girls--I marveled at how they were able to get into their jean shorts. I remember back in the olden days when the girls wore what then were called "short shorts", and at the time it was scandalous, but these shorts today are made the size of a pair of worn gloves. Not to be Puritanical, but the Victoria's Secret shop featured half naked models in the windows with loud colored bras and scanty panties. But what I really wanted to know about were those wires hanging from the kids' ears.

.....I finally learned from a 91 year old grandfather seated on a bench awaiting his wife as she shopped that the little black box at the end of the wires was called an "iPod". With 160GB of storage, iPod classic is the take-everything-everywhere iPod, with space for up to 40000 songs, 200 hours of video, or 25,000 photos. 40,000 songs!! When I was a kid a millennium ago, I thought I was fortunate to be able to buy a Glenn Miller 78 record. One. That's it--one. But since that time, other musical marvels followed: the 45, the 33, the 8 track (Ugh!), Cassettes, and CDs. Each advance designed to make the previous one obsolete so that you had to buy the newbie.

.....Way back then, the family gathered around the radio to listen to Jack Benny, Fred Allen, the Green Hornet, and the "Shadow Knows". Until I got my first view of television at the New York World's Fair in 1939. I even got a chance to see my picture on it. When I was finally able to afford a TV set about eight years' later, it was a 10 inch screen showing black and white pictures. The biggest deal was Milton Berle on Tuesday nights. In order to make the screen bigger, we bought a magnifying glass to put over it. We were only kidding ourselves. Then came COLOR! How amazing! Even the movies had COLOR. No one then or since has been able to explain to me how that works.

....,and then came the "cell phone". And that is why you frequently see someone driving a car with a hand on one ear and a hand holding the wheel with the other. A neat, and dangerous trick without a net. And in the passenger seat is a 12 year old fiddling with an"i-Phone". The iPhone functions as a camera phone, including text messaging and visual voicemail. It is also a portable media player, with e-mail, web browsing and wi-fi connectivity. Each of the "buttons" on the keyboard is square, colored, and has an icon with the theme of its function. I don't have one, and I don't believe I want one, although I did eventually succumb to the computer. Anyway, no one has ever explained to me how these things work. Oh, pardon--I have received explanations, but I never understood what they were saying. I'm not a techie--I'm a poet.

The last of the awesome experiences of the Baron

.....Finally, we come to the final awesome, unforgettable experience. I would say that there is possibly no one in this wide, wonderful, round, spinning world who has experienced ALL of the 10 experiences I will have described...this will become clear shortly, and is certainly not arrogance that makes me say that...I just want a paragraph in the book of World Records. Number 10 which is really #1!) happens to be very personal and does involve my entire family. It's a United States guided missile destroyer named after my daughter, Robin's husband. My son-in-law:

#10) the USS HIGGINS (DDG76)--(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia):

.....The USS Higgins is an Arleigh Burke class destroyer. She was commissioned in 1999 and named after William R. Higgins (1945-1990), a United States Marine Colonel who was captured and held hostage in February 1988 by a pro-Iranian group allied with Hezbollah while serving on a United Nations peacekeeping mission in Lebanon. He was killed in captivity by July 1990. The ship was ordered by our first President George Bush, built by the Bath Iron Works in Bath, Maine, and launched there on October 4, 1997. Rhoda and I were there to watch Robin smash a good bottle of champagne on our ship as it rolled off its ramp into the Kennebunk River.

.....It took two years to outfit the ship with all its needs, especially armaments, and on a very hot day it was commissioned at Port Everglades in Florida. There were about 5000 people seated on the pier to witness the ceremony. Before it docked, Rhoda, Robin, and I boarded a Coast Guard Cutter which took us out to watch the ship as it came from Bath to Ft. Lauderdale. At first it was a tiny blip, and then it got bigger as it approached. As it went by us, we waved at all the sailors, who waved back at us. An airplane flew by with a banner saying "Welcome, USS Higgins" trailing it.

.....Our whole family were seated on the pier along with the few other thousands awaiting its arrival. When it docked, we saw Governor Jeb Bush, Robin, and Richard's daughter who had boarded the ship along with several other VIPs. After a thrilling ceremony and a couple of speeches, everyone went to a very large hanger where lunch was being served. In the evening there was a reception during which we were ushered into a small room to meet, by this time, the former President Bush. We marveled at how really tall he was. He towered over Rhoda.

.....There was much more in celebration that weekend of the commissioning of the HIGGINS, and it would take much too long for me to describe it. So now the USS HIGGINS takes its place in the history of my awesome experiences alongside the Taj Mahal, the Blue Grotto, the Acropolis & Parthenon, the Eiffel Tower, Mt. Everest, the Sistine Chapel, the Night Watch, the York Minster's stained glass windows, and Pompeii.

.....Now to get back to what I said at the start of this posting, that I believe there is no one who can claim to have experienced all of the things that I have described. If there is, then that person would have to have been at the launching & commissioning of the HIGGINS as well as the York Minster and all the rest of the TEN. If there is such a person, please check in with me. If not, fair winds and a calm sea.

Baron's Wonders of the World #8 and #9

.....Although a few friends and family wondered why I didn't follow David Letterman's formula for his "lists" by starting out with #10, and then keeping his audience in suspense as to what #1 would be, I thought I have answered that by saying that my first nine awe inspiring experiences were placed in no particular order--but that I will save the "best" for last. And the reason for that is simply that it is not possible for me to go from the least to the most. I cannot say which is better than another, since all that I have written about thus far are pretty equal in my mind--except for the last--which I will get to in due time. How can anyone choose between Michelangelo's Pieta and David? Or between the Mona Lisa, the Sphinx and the Pyramids, Mt. Rushmore, or Stonehenge, the islands of Bali, Tahiti, Bora Bora, and the wonders of Venice and Florence? Although I have never seen the Pyramids, I have seen all the others I have mentioned in addition to the two that I will write about today. Who can say which is "best"? I have chosen ten experiences in my life that have meant the most to me, but I cannot say which of the first nine is best.

.....#8)Mt. Everest-The highest mountain in the world attracts well-experienced mountaineers as well as novice climbers who are willing to pay substantial sums to professional mountain guides to complete a successful climb. The mountain, while not posing substantial technical climbing difficulty on the standard route still has many inherent dangers such as altitude sickness, weather and wind. By the end of the 2008 climbing season, there had been 4,102 ascents to the summit by about 2,700 individuals. Climbers are a significant source of tourist revenue for Nepal, whose government also requires all prospective climbers to obtain an expensive permit, costing up to US $ 25,000 per person. By the end of 2009 Everest had claimed 216 lives, including eight who perished during a 1996 storm high on the mountain. Conditions are so difficult in the death zone (altitudes higher than 8,000 m/26,246 ft) that most corpses have been left where they fell. Some of them are visible from standard climbing routes.-

(Description by Wikepedia)

.....the feeling that I got just being at the foot of this great mountain, the highest above sea level in the world, was a chill up and down my spine (or perhaps it was because it was cold in Nepal?) At any rate it was simply a great thrill to be in such a place that I read about and learned about all my life. I also had the experience of flying over it, and the view from the aircraft was magnificent. So, then, I come now to number nine--the precursor to number ten, my most awesome, incredible, emotional, and unforgettable experience in my lifetime.

.....#9)the Acropolis & the Parthenon--In Greek "Acropolis" means "highest city" and indeed when I was in Athens, there it was! And the Parthenon, also, as a bonus! After the decay of centuries of attrition, pollution, destruction by acts of war, and misguided past restorations, a project that "meant business" began in 1975.

.....The aim of the restoration was to reverse the decay. The project included collection and identification of all stone fragments, even small ones, from the Acropolis and its slopes and the attempt was made to restore as much as possible using reassembled original material - with new marble from Mount Penteli used sparingly. All restoration was made using titanium dowels and is designed to be completely reversible, in case future experts decide to change things. A combination of cutting-edge modern technology and extensive research and reinvention of ancient techniques were used.

.....The Parthenon colonnades, largely destroyed by Venetian bombardment in the 17th century, were restored, with many wrongly assembled columns now properly placed. The roof and floor of the Propylaea were partly restored, with sections of the roof made of new marble and decorated with blue and gold inserts, as in the original. The temple of Athena Nike is the only edifice still unfinished, pending proper reassembly of its parts all of which survive.

.....What made this experience even more "awesome" was meeting John Collum sitting next to me on a bus. During our conversation I asked him what kind of work he did back home, and he responded saying he was an actor. So, I asked him what he enacted. He said he had currently starred in "On a Clear Day". It really freaked me out! Subsequently, John appeared in "On the 20th Century", "Shenandoah", and "Death Trap". He also starred in the CBS series, "Northern Exposure" and played Mark Green's father on "ER". I can go on and on about his long career in film, television, and the Broadway Stage. Rhoda and I went backstage to see him while he was playing in "Death Trap." But getting back to Athens, John and I spent an entire week "paling around" together--especially in bars and restaurants.

Awesome Number Seven

.....I have to say that I am getting a "rush" just recalling all ten of these "experiences". They are just as alive and awesome in my memory now as they were when I saw them many years ago, and I am very appreciative and fortunate that these events happened to me in my lifetime. I begin this posting on my blog with event #6; and again--this list is not in any particular order--but #10 will describe my #1 experience. So, stick around for the end of the game.

.....7)The Blue Grotto (Grotta Azzurra)-- is a noted sea cave on

the coast of the island of Capri,Italy. Sunlight, passing through an underwater cavity and shining through the seawater, creates a blue reflection that illuminates the cavern. Once you are rowed inside the cave, the light can change from a brilliant blue to an emerald cast. The grotto was known by the Romans, as proved by the antique statues which were found in the Grotto. The grotto was known to the locals under the name of Gradola, after the nearby landing place of Gradola, but it was avoided because it was said to be inhabited by witches and monsters. To enter the low opening to the grotto, the tourist transfers from the motorized boat that brought him or her from the port into a small wooden rowboat manned by one of the oarsmen who specialize in ferrying travelers into the cave. Because there is no headroom, visitors must lie on their backs in the bottom of the rowboats as they clear the entranceway. Once inside, the grotto is quite roomy and it is possible to sit upright, until conveyed back out through the same tiny hole.

…..The Baron was awed by this experience partly because the lyrics to “The Isle of Capri” kept swirling around in his head. And, too, remembering my Greek mythology about Charon who is the ferryman of Hades who carries souls of the newly deceased across the rivers Styx and Acheron that divided the world of the living from the world of the dead. A coin to pay Charon for passage was sometimes placed in or on the mouth of a dead person. Of course, my ferryman wasn’t dead, but I did have to place a coin in his hand when the experience was over. I have not the words to describe it.