Snow Birds Go Home ASAP

.....Now in South Florida can be seen those big rigs that carry cars. Their destination is obviously someplace north of here where the cars are delivered to the homes of our Snow Birds. For those not aware of the meaning of the term, it refers to those residents who have a home in Florida where they live in the winter and a home back North where they live in the summer. So, neat trick--they avoid the frigid weather in the winter and the searing heat in the summer. They are like the swallows that come back to Capistrano. But what about the rest of us? We who do not have two cars or two homes? We also escape the snow and ice of winter, but we swelter here in the summer. In the winter there are many days when the heaters work really well for the benefit of Florida Power & Light; and air conditioners run constantly in the summer attempting to beat the heat--especially if your apartment is on the top floor of a condo with roofs that are poorly insulated.

.....And then there are the Snow Flakes. They are the ones who are still working and so they come here for a week or a weekend whenever they can get away. The Snow Flakes are not so bad for the year-round residents, but the Snow Birds are not too welcome. They clog our roads and our restaurants and our rest rooms. We sometimes have to wait an hour to get in to a favorite eating place or a stall or a urinal. This of course is unacceptable. But what can be done about it? The solution, of course, is to have the Snow Birds make up their minds as to where they are going to live permanently. If they choose to continue their double plays, then they should be fined $5000 for causing traffic jams and populating our places of leisure. In addition the State would set up gas stations where Snow Birds must go and pay $7.49 a gallon. If they deign to go to our casinos, they should have to buy a ticket to get in. Five dollars seems about right. Of course there will be Snow Birds who are my neighbors and friends; and so that I do not lose their friendship they would be given a special passport with their picture that would exonerate them from the usual annoyances that Snow Birds commit. No point in causing ill will.