…..I’m depressed, disconsolate,
disenchanted, dejected, despondent, dispirited, and devitalized. And you may
ask why this is so? Mark Twain was right when he said, “Lord save us from
old age and broken health, and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting
out blossoms.”. The fact is that I have lost the faculty of doing what
once I was able to do—to put out the blossoms of skills I owned from my own
Hope Tree. Life was at one time a joy,
but now I’m as dormant and helpless as a pebble on the bottom of the sea, where
once I was an Orca. No longer can I lift
a golf club from a bag and feel the power of its use. No longer can I run a marathon or walk a
mile; nor even walk at all without the help of a device which I loathe.
…..The problem with the
“friend” who failed me, I believe, is that he is not happy with my liberal political
leanings, and with my using this written means to express my beliefs. He apparently has also abandoned the First
Amendment as well. The Bard has said in one of his sonnets that ”…love is not love
which alters when it alteration finds,” and that it “…looks on tempests
and is never shaken.” The fact is,
that being an 18-karat manic depressive and having lived a life of violent
emotional contradictions, I have an over-acute capacity for sadness as well as
elation.
…..And so it turns out, sadly,
that he is not a friend at all, and apparently never was. But despite of all that I have written here,
and the reason I nevertheless thrive and survive with elation, is the magnificent
wife with whom I have shared my life for the past 30 years. June19th, the date we married, looms shortly
ahead; a day which leads us on to our future together like a beacon lighting
our lives. And this it is that allows me to leave all pain behind me.
What a wonderfully expressed thought from Mark Twain: I am grateful for your having drawn it to my attention, dear Baron. Yes, old age doesn't look fun at all, and I am sympathetic. But you have not only Rh+ but also your wonderful family, whom you engendered and raised. Some folks don't even have that, as they age and lose their friends to the Grim Reaper.
ReplyDeleteOf course I am your friend! Long may that continue! As to Phil, what has happened is a great great pity, but since it appears to be beyond amendment, it is a blow that must be borne with all the strength and courage that you can muster. You've borne much much worse than this, and are still alive to tell the tale!
Incidentally, I'm not sure that he's denying your First Amendment rights: you are still free to say what you like. (And I hope you continue to do so for a long time - I think that your thoughts on everything are the "blossoms" of which the late Mr Clemence speaks, don't think that they have entirely disappeared!) But Phil is also within his rights to refrain from reading them. Logically, if it were otherwise, ALL of us would have to read EVERYTHING that EVERYBODY wrote. I respectfully suggest that you cease citing your Constitution whenever a difficulty arises: its provisions are not Holy Writ, you know. You have within reach the wisdom of the Ancients, the Word of God through the Penteteuch and the Prophets, the words of the poets and writers, especially our Swan of Avon, and, of course, the egregious Mr Clemence!
Much love, and vibes of support and strength coming across the Atlantic! Cuzzin Ruth xxxx
Ruth makes good points. The fact that Phil has chosen not to read your blog has nothing to do with your rights, nor your friendship with him. And even if someone is no longer your friend, that does not mean that person was NEVER your friend.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are feeling ill, you let most people know through various means, including this blog. However, Phil does the opposite: He does not return emails and does not answer his phone. As his friend, I know not to take his silence personally; I try to wait for his return, and -- as his friend -- I let him know that I hope he gets better.
Phil has made it clear that he has chosen not to read this blog because some of the political views upset him. Rather than "fight" with his friend over political matters, he has decided not to let the words upset him by ignoring them. That's actually rather logical, and demonstrates that the friendship is important enough to him to take that step. It is not the step you would take, but you and Phil do things differently. It's as simple as that.
JR, read the first words of this post. Secondly, I never mention this former friend,s name for a reason. Third, this former friend insulted me before he decided to forgoe this blog; go back and read it--and I don't give a tinker's damn if he reads it or not. Fourth this "friend" vowed to be my friend forever, and so that vow went south. I keep my vows. Fifth, I don't think about letting "people" know I am ill; I let my family know that I am ill, and this blog is for my family so they each shall know how their father is living his life because we are separated by time and space. If others read it, that's fine Sixth, that friend's idea of friendship is not to communicate in any way when he is ill is worth a try. His way, apparently, is the way to get better, and you accept it. Nothing wrong with that. I think I'll give it a try. What's the point of beginning this post with words about how I am ill? You don't respond to my depression at all, but you do run to that friend's defense; in your peroration you imply his way is "logical" and mine is not. So, next time you are ill, do the logical thing--ignore our words; it will make you feel better.
ReplyDeleteDear Baron, I humbly beg you to try to calm yourself, and not to take offence at what your dear and loving son has told you, and to refrain from finding fault with him. It will do nobody any good. It won't amend the situation with the unnamed friend, it won't help your depression, it won't cure your physical ills, it won't bring back the years of your youth, and it certainly won't help Joel in his attempts to assist and care for you in your declining years. I know that a few years ago you read the Christian scriptures: please re-read the first of Paul's Epistles to the Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 1-13. Especially the bit about "love being slow to anger." You know, there was no-one more Jewish than Paul. He was steeped in Jewish Law and tradition, and you ought to read him with that in mind. The passage I have quoted is one that is frequently read out at weddings, and that's how I know it so well. It is a hymn to love: the "agape" sort of love. (Incidentally, I would myself translate the verb "katargeo" as "render completely useless." "Kata" means "down;" and "ergon" is "work." However, I have never seen this translation.)
ReplyDeleteMuch love, Cuzzin Ruth
A friend wrote this about me in a feeble attempt to copy the prose I used to begin this post: deranged, demented, depleted, disreputable, disingenuous, disrupted, dyspeptic, disillusioned, disgruntled, disagreeable, disheveled. Now I'm really pained; I am not disheveled.
ReplyDeleteJust thought you needed a second opinion!
Delete
DeleteJust thought you needed a second opinion!
THAT'S more like it, Baron dear! A good laugh never goes amiss in this vale of tears!! Love you always, Cuzzin Ruth
ReplyDelete