.....With all the posts on this blog, I have rarely written about my family; but I will correct that fault now. I have a sister who lives in Boca Raton's Century Village. She and her husband whom we call Mickey and my mother moved to Florida several years before I came here. They were the reason I also retired to Florida. My mother passed away about a dozen years ago at the age of 90. My sister, Betty, is 86, two years younger than I, and Mickey is 89. Mickey's health has recently taken a turn for the worst. He has a severe hearing loss, he's in the beginning stages of dementia, and he has fallen out of bed several times. My sister is weak, she must walk with a cane, she does not cook any more, and she is Mickey's caregiver. She is really not fit for that role at this stage in her life. My niece, Jane, who also lives here, goes to help her mother with the cooking and other chores which have been left undone, but Rhoda and I have other ideas of how they should spend whatever years are left to them. They should sell that apartment and move into an assisted living facility; that is what my sister should do, but which she refuses to do.
.....Her excuse is, that she is "not ready", that she hasn't the finances, that she wants to leave the house to her children. All these excuses are truly not fathomable. Mickey is collecting enough income from the VA each month to pay for a room in a facility--and I'm aware of what it is. I don't know what they are collecting from social security, but the sale of the house could provide for whatever needs they will have. The children are in no need to live off their parents' backs. Now, as far as other family members are concerned, I have lots of cousins, most of whom do not live in Florida--and, of course, and thankfully, I have an adopted cousin in Great Britain--Ruth Grimsley who, no doubt, will not attend a single Olympic Event--and who, most likely, will leave a comment on today's blog. Look for it. Lastly, I have no living Aunts or Uncles, but my children have.
Right, Baron, I will indeed, and here it is. Ideally, elderly people should leave their homes to go to assisted living quarters BEFORE they absolutely need to. If they leave it too late, they haven't a hope of settling in to or being happy in their new surroundings. Whilever they have any mental abilities to adjust, they must use them, or their future lives will be emotional hell, full of disorientation and confusion. Of course, if family finances won't stretch to that, that's another matter, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. It's time for the ageing relatives' nearest and dearest to get a bit heavy with them, and INSIST on the sensible thing's being done! Cuzzin Ruth
ReplyDeleteSorry, forgot to say, yes, you're right about my not watching the Olympics! I do have a blind spot where sport is concerned, and my sole pleasure in the Olympics consists in being released from reading whole screeds of our daily newspaper, so that I am freed up to do more serious reading. Newspapers are literally ephemeral: that means that they last only a day. In fact, the Modern Greek word for newspapers IS "ephemeritha!" However, for sport enthusiasts, I can tell you that I have been reliably informed that the UK came first AND second in the Tour de France, which I am equally reliably informed involves cycling round France. Cuzzin Ruth
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear of Mickeys failing health, and Betty's difficulties caring for Mickey. I have always enjoyed the time I got to spend with them, and fondly remember Mickey's hearty laugh. Hopefully the sun will shine on them, and they will have many happy years.
ReplyDelete