"A healthy child, well nursed, is a very nourishing food." (Swift)

.....I don't know how I got into this business of writing about the ten "best" things in our lives--well, mine anyway; must have something to do with aging.  Today I think I'll write about food.  We'll start with breakfast.  The three very best breakfasts I feel are Farina, Wheeteena, and Ralston.  They are the best for creating courage and fortitude for the slings and arrows sure to come...eventually. And you certainly want to do that. Courage is a blessing and these three  will do it for you. For lunch let's say  Chipotle Chicken Burrito - With rice, pinto beans, cheese, chicken, sour cream, and salsa, you get 1,040 calories and 16-1/2 grams of saturated fat - the same as three Subway Steak and Cheese 6-inch Subs. Plus the burrito comes with 2,500 milligrams of sodium! Ordering it without cheese or sour cream cuts the saturated fat to 3-1/2 grams, but you surely don't want to do that. If you become obese there will be more of you for your spouse and friends to love.  Carumba!  

.....OH” sure I told my friends. “I’ll go eat sushi with you.” I had no idea they were actually ordering turds on a plate. Slimy seaweed wrapped around what tasted and smelled like vomit and sewage. I don’t even know what these vehicles of death are but if I ever see them again I’m running straight towards them.  And you may ask why I consider sushi one of the ten best foods?  Simple; to show people that I am not a racist and that Japanese food is good for the American way--and especially so for the Tea Party.

.....Number 7 in this litany of very best food is boiled chicken in the pot. This is something you cannot get at Kentucky Fried.  When you have properly prepared yourself for this fascinating dish, and finish every morsel, you will never need a laxative again.  It's a lot like quitting smoking and that is also an accomplishment. So dine on some sushi for lunch or for dinner.

.....8. Either for lunch or dinner at Burger King--the triple whopper ....Three flame-broiled beef patties with two slices of American cheese, crisp lettuce, creamy mayo, red ripe tomatoes, pickles and onions–all on a toasted sesame seed bun. It’s once, twice, three times the tasty, and it’s waiting for you.  But the Home of the Whopper has more food that is good for you, like frostys.  Frankly, I don’t even know how anyone can open their mouth wide enough to fit in a TRIPLE Whopper!  But that's the reason for being eighth best--it gets you to exercise your mouth for a change instead of your abs all the time.  In discussions, for example, people will be impressed by your mouth's competence and performance...but that doesn't mean that they like will like it.  But to hell with them.

.....The ninth and tenth of what I consider the very best food are so very best that there is no point in writing about them.  You wouldn't eat them anyway; you'll only eat food that is bad for you, like broccoli.