"There are few die well that die in battle." (Henry V)

.....Once in a while I have to rest a bit from writing about cakes and ale, and write about something somber, which by all accounts must needs be written. I recently read a review of the book "D-Day" by Anthony Beevor, the first comprehensive history of D-Day in two decades. It is a book that sheds new light on the cost of an immortal victory. Omaha Beach was the destination on that day which generals and commanders knew would be a burial ground for many of our soldiers. For one, a tank battalion of 32 DD Shermans faced the uninviting task of driving their tanks to the shore. But the flotation devices used to keep them afloat before they came to shore from their ships did not operate as planned. The result was that 32 of 37 tanks sank drowning 33 men. The surviving tanks took their vengeance once on dry land. The purpose of valor is usually to make up for someone's stupidity. The fact that this operation succeeded was mostly due to the courage and determination of the infantry.

.....I'm reminded of the flap in the UN determined to bring Israeli commanders up for war crimes for killing Gaza civilians in their war against the Hamas. But for firing rockets over Israel, the Hamas themselves killing civilians, there was no wringing of hands by the UN. But the obviously anti-Semitic nature of the UN overlooks that particular fact. Another fact is that 3000 French civilians died during the first 24 hours of D-Day. 3000 in 24 hours! The Germans also took no pity on civilians when they fired V1 and V2 rockets over London. I was there and I'm not even English. There is little doubt that in war, civilians will be killed--especially if snipers operate from the windows of their apartments, and if used as shields by the enemy. I'm thinking of what Colin Powell said about going to war--"Is the national interest at stake? If the answer is yes, go in, and go in to win. Otherwise, stay out." Contemplate that.

.....The other day I received a letter from a curator of the memorial Museum at Dunkeswell, England. That museum was established and maintained by a few good people. David wanted to know if I knew the two crews of Joe Kennedy ( who flew and died in my outfit of VB110). I told him I did not know those crews. He also wanted to know if my plane was the one that blew a tire on takeoff with a full bomb load and fuel. I replied that it was I, indeed, who was a member of that crew. He mentioned that he has the front door release handle with all the crew's names on it! Man, I wish I had that! David also asked about the time I was fished out of the English Channel (or was it the Bay of Biscay?) by a British submarine. I know that the picture of our crew exists in that Museum, and I would like to go there one day to visit. But I don't think that will happen.

.....So much for a somber blog.

"They laugh that win." (Othello)

.....We have a couple of good friends in another building here, named Mike and Helen Herbstman. Mike is a talented performer who just recently had open heart surgery. When we produced "My Fair Lady" a couple of years ago Mike played the part of Colonel Pickering, and I don't mind saying he looked the part.

But this story is not so much about Mike as it is about Helen. She is the luckiest person I've ever known. She enters every contest she can find in the newspapers or magazines. She has already won an enormous TV which occupies half her living room. She has also won a motorcycle and a ticket to the Super Bowl and an overnight stay at a posh hotel in Miami. One day when we went to the Isle Casino she won $2000 on a two-cent slot machine. I have no clue to whatever else she has won, but I'm certain there is a list. This past week, however, Macy's had a fund raising program for City of Hope whereby you could buy a $5 gift card and if you deposited it in a box, and your name was picked, you could win $500. It so happens that Rhoda went to Macy's last week and picked up Helen's card. When Rho got to the store she deposited Helen's card in the box. Who won the $500? Well, Helen of course. I think she should go for broke and buy a few Powerball tickets. What Rhoda got from Helen out of this affair was a free lunch.

I don't know if Mike will get anything.

.....I can't recall mentioning that I went to see the surgeon who dug the melanoma out of my leg and after looking at the wound once more he said I needn't come back anymore. We gave the nurses a tin of cookies and I gave the doctor a copy of my book. I hope never to see that man again. Rhoda still has to keep a bandage on it for a while because the new skin is very fragile. She is very skillful at that job.

.....I learned from Rho's daughter in Merrick, Long Island, that Ilana, our granddaughter who plays soccer on the Kennedy H.S. girls' team recently played in a game against North Shore H.S. where I coached for 30 years. North Shore was winning one nil when a player from Kennedy seriously injured her knee. By the time the medics came and tended to her, the game couldn't be continued because of darkness. Hopefully, they will finish it sometime this season, and hopefully North Shore will win. But if Kennedy wins, hopefully it will be Ilana who scores the winning goal. It really felt kind of weird to know that Ilana was playing against my old school; however, it did nothing to relieve whatever angst I have about my age.

.....As long as we are discussing sports and winning, I heard someone say that winning is not so important as playing and enjoying the game. I said, "Poppycock", (whatever that means).Poppycock - (Anglicized form of the Dutch pappekak, which literally means soft dung or diarrhea). Coach Lombardi of the Green Bay Packers once said, "Winning isn't everything, but losing isn't anything." As a coach and sports lover I'll take it one step further and say winning is everything; else why play the game?

"The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together." (All's Well...)

.....Today was a banner day. It's not over yet, but so far it's about an A-. We had an appointment with the surgeon who dug out my melanoma with his shovel, and I believe secretly howled with Satanic delight at the suicidal pain I felt for at least two weeks. But today he finally released me from his service after diagnosing my wound as almost fully healed. In order to celebrate, I decided to drive to the Isle Casino for a little fun. I went alone because Rhoda went to a luncheon at Duffy's where forty women awaited to surprise the two guests of honor who had done a lot for the City of Hope, and were being rewarded with a couple of hours of cackling women who usually all speak at the same time. I was not at the casino for even one hour when three red sevens turned up on my slot machine with a bonus of 7 free spins that increased the value of the three sevens to a bonus of $214. I was only betting 75 cents on each spin. I didn't have the required nerve to continue playing, for fear of losing my winnings, so I had the valet retrieve my ten-year old Malibu and I drove straight home.

.....To continue with the A- day, I got a call from my grandson, Sean, who is 25 years old and lives in California. Sean is not only a professional surfer but also is a talented artist who is having a show of his paintings next month. He is a student at a prestigious school of art, and when questioned he said he loves it there. We had a lengthy discussion about what he is planning for his life, and I, obviously, was quite happy to hear from one of my grand kids. After hanging up, I wondered what other good thing was going to happen today and hoping that more of these A- events would be in in store for me in the future.

.....There are, of course, some F's in my life these days. One of them is that I can't open anything. When I get a fortune cookie in a Chinese restaurant I can never separate the wrapping it comes in. When we get a new jar of anything, I have to turn it over to Rhoda who has the skill to open most anything. One of the things that neither one of us can open is the door to our terrace. We never lock it, but the cleaning crew was here the other day, and apparently one of them felt it needed to be locked. Now we tried everything to open it without success. Oh, I almost forgot; one of the A- things is that it appears the two California baseball teams--the Angels and the Dodgers are going to be eliminated in the playoffs. That means we, on the East coast, will not have to stay up all hours of the night to see who wins a game considering the three hour time difference involved. And finally, we learned today that our maintenance fee for next year is being reduced in the amount of $129 a month. That anything is being reduced these days is astounding; even one's weight.

"With me poetry has not been a purpose, but a passion." (Poe)

.....A word of advice. Sometimes--well almost every time--when you try to make a comment, a warning shows up that states your comment couldn't be done--try again. Just ignore it. Also, if you're going to comment as "anonymous" why sign your name at the bottom or your comment? Doesn't make sense--does it? But lots of anonymouses do. .....Today was not one of your A1 days; more like a D-. The cleaning crew arrived at 12:30 and I had to find something to do for a couple of hours. I did plan to go to the Isle Casino, but that didn't work out. First I went to breakfast at the bagel place because I didn't have time to have it at home. It's a new place and everyone is trying it out so I had to wait about 35 minutes before they called me in. I knew I was called because the gizmo I held in my hand began to vibrate. After breakfast I went to Murphy's to get gas--it was $2.61 a gallon. I remember when it was $1.25--or even less. But so everything is going up these days to amounts I thought impossible years ago. When I first arrived here, it was easy going out to dinner with friends and winding up with a $25 check including tax and tip. Now, it's hard to find a place where the bill comes to less than $50. Except, of course, at Wendy's, Burger King, McDonald's, etc. Not only is dining expensive, but clothing prices are beyond belief considering the fact that they were made cheaply in some Asian country. I ordered a pair of jeans with a 28" inseam, and it came with 31". It was made in Timbuktu or maybe Grenada or Kamchatka in Russia where they must have different tape measures. Then, the complete mystery is how can kids out of high school or college make millions of dollars just for playing a professional game? When I was a kid growing up on the same street as Colin Powell I never heard of a million dollars. My world was an allowance of 3 cents a day which I spent on candy.

.....Rhoda and I finally got to see a movie last night--"Bright Star". It was the story of the love affair in the 19th C. between John Keats and his beloved Fanny Brawne--the girl next door. If you go to see it, bring a box of tissues because this unconsummated, passionate affair ended after Keats died at the age of 25. The film's title was lifted from the last sonnet Keats wrote, and most obviously it celebrates his love for Fanny. If you have never read it in high school or college, you ought to. So, courtesy of Red Baron, here it is:

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art--

Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night

And watching, with eternal lids apart,

Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,

The moving waters at their priestlike task

Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,

Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask

Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--

No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,

Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,

To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,

Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,

Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,

And so live ever--or else swoon to death.

.....I've written many sonnets, myself, which can be found in a booklet named, "Shadows in the Sunset" or as an addenda to my book, "Memoirs". I'm afraid to think, however, that none achieves the quality of John Keats. Unfortunately, many people are loath to read poetry because they fear the lack of understanding. A reader of poetry, before looking to understand a poem must be able to let the poem first affect the senses and the emotions. One does not look at a great painting that is daunting to the understanding without first allowing the painting to reach him as an "experience". Poetry, likewise, must be read on a totally different level than searching for meaning. Meaning is a secondary accompaniment to poetry. At least that's what I used to tell my students. Poetry is a vital source of enrichment to life--at least it was for me--and Edgar A. Poe. (See blog title above).

Hey, Bob Fox, where are you?

.....Just finished speaking on the phone with my "kids", all four of whom are in their 50s. I suppose they're all grown up now and can make their own way in the world. But to realize that they are in their 50s is very annoying to me. I prefer to think of them in their 20s, actually. The truth is that the 40s used to be considered "middle aged", but nowadays I believe it's been moved up a decade. People are living a lot longer, especially in Florida, flooded with doctors and without the debilitating biting cold. I am not acquainted with any Jewish Eskimos; it's ridiculous to think of a synagogue in an Igloo. My grandchildren are all in their 20s and single; I don't know who is going to carry on the Ross name and/or present me with a great-grandchild. I am resigned to the fact that I will probably never see one, though I know that would be a fun and thrilling event.

.....The lack of great-grandchildren would defeat one of the purposes of writing and publishing this blog in books called "Paternoster in Condoland". You all know, of course, that "paternoster" is Latin for "our father"; ergo, Our father in Condoland. But if that were the title of these journals, one would normally be obligated to say afterwards, "Blessed be thy name." Paternoster defeats that necessity. The primary purpose of writing this blog/journal is so that my offspring will know what life is like each day down here for their father and Rhoda, making it unnecessary to frequently phone or e-mail them, which I normally find unrewarding. Then the secondary purpose is that way down the line, my descendants will be able to know what their ancestors in the family were like. But who knows if I will have any of those descendants if the current descendants don't get to the altar--and very soon!

.....Here at Huntington Lakes we have--among many--a club call "The New Generation". Rho and I became members but I have no clue as to why the title since we're mostly old generationists. However, perhaps the meaning has to do with the new life in retirement; nothing else seems to make sense. The other night we went to one of their meetings. There were about twenty round tables with seats for ten people. The tables contained a vase with fake flowers, potato chips, candy, cans of soda, a big ice bucket, and paper cups for cold and hot drinks. A brief "meeting" of the club was held, administered by the president, after which we were entertained by a female chanteuse who sang songs mostly from the Mesozoic period. Perhaps that is why I couldn't understand a word even though I turned up the volume of my hearing aids.

.....Wednesday I'm going to the surgeon who operated on my melanoma; hopefully, after looking at my leg he'll say that he never wants to see me again, which will be OK with me. The wound is almost completely healed, but still Rho redresses it every day. I believe that will not have to be done anymore after seeing the doctor. That will be the end of the ordeal in the summer from Hell--just in time for the winter season. And time for us to have some fun. At the end of the month we are going in three busloads on a City of Hope jaunt to the Hard Rock Casino, which is run by the Seminoles. We've been there a few times and donated some our money to their cause. We are slowly paying them back for the land we stole from them. The best thing about Hard Rock, besides the interesting slot machines, is that in the Deli Restaurant there, good old fashioned checkerboard cake may be had along with an egg cream to wash it down. Can't wait.

"I am not a teacher; only a fellow traveler of whom you asked the way." (G.B.Shaw)

.....I have to keep reminding myself of the reasons for publishing five volumes of this blog and now working on Vol. VI. The primary reason is that -- next to acting--it gives me an opportunity to do something that I enjoy doing--writing. The second reason is to leave this journal/diary/blog for my great grandchildren to read so that they get to know their great-grandfather. By that time there may be no one left who remembers me. These kids--if there ever are any--will know what life was like in 2000+, the olden times. I have four grandchildren, none of whom is yet to be married. Who knows if I'll ever get to see even one great-grandchild--as my next door neighbor has been fortunate enough to experience. And so, I want to leave as much as I can about my life, not the least of which is the legacy of my teaching career. I do get many e-mails, etc. from former students back as far as 1954. And so here is the latest one--circa 1970 or so. Can't remember everything.

....."Yikes! Your store front is filling up fast! Pretty impressive. Oh... I recently got back in touch with Laura Shirley after many, many years of not knowing where she went off to. We had a wonderful weekend together at her home in CT -- she's just the way I remember her. She asked about you -- and I happened to have a copy of your tribute booklet in my trunk, so I gave one to her. She, like everyone else I know who had the benefit of your teaching "back in the day," remarked on the lasting impression you left on her. I suspect you'll never truly know how many lives you've affected, and to what degree -- but know that you are never forgotten.I hope you and Rho are both doing well -- please pass on a hug from me. I've been drowning in my studies for the past few months, but only have three more courses before I get started on my dissertation. (And by the way, that's another manifestation of your influence on me; I think you are probably the single greatest inspiration behind my desire to get my Ph.D.)."

....."Doc--I just read the Wikipedia post; great stuff... I'm proud of you, too (especially proud to have had the best damn teacher in all of NSHS history, and one of the best anywhere, ever -- a fact that Laura and I wholeheartedly agreed on in a recent email conversation). You're my hero!

.....Well, well, that ought to leave a good impression on my descendants way down the line from the "Greatest Generation". The message was from Debbie French, daughter-in-law of John French the late, great principal of North Shore High School.

Debbie's greatest contribution to me was her singing of "Suzanne"-the folk song, while she strummed the guitar. What a kid! I wish to Heaven I was back in the classroom, my natural habitat. I would have made a fine subject for Charles Darwin.

"I fear I am not in my perfect mind." (King Lear)

.....I'm confused. Probably because I'm ancient--an antique, a dinosaur, and possibly pre-alzheimerish and, consequently, have no idea about what I'm talking. (Don't catch me ending a sentence with a preposition). I shared my belief on this blog that since the Norwegians on the Nobel Prize committee know more about the reasons for their choice of winners than I do, I was pleased as a patriotic American that one of ours won the Nobel Peace prize. But following the ubiquitous conflagrations fired by critics of their choice of Obama, my belief was shaken, rattled, and rolled. I couldn't figure out whom these pundits were criticizing--Obama or the Nobel committee. If the President--well, he didn't ask for it; if the committee, then if I were Norwegian, I'd be "ungablusin"--which in Yiddish means pissed off; and I doubt they would feel differently in any other language. And today in OSLO — Members of the Norwegian committee that gave Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize are strongly defending their choice against a storm of criticism that the award was premature and a potential liability for the U.S. president. "We simply disagree that he has done nothing," committee chairman Thorbjoern Jagland told the AP on Tuesday. "He got the prize for what he has done." Jagland singled out Obama's efforts to heal the divide between the West and the Muslim world and scale down a Bush-era proposal for an anti-missile shield in Europe.

....."All these things have contributed to — I wouldn't say a safer world — but a world with less tension." He said most world leaders were positive about the award and that most of the criticism was coming from the media and from Obama's political rivals. "I take note of it. My response is only the judgment of the committee, which was unanimous," he said, adding that the award to Obama followed the guidelines set forth by Alfred Nobel. "Alfred Nobel wrote that the prize should go to the person who has contributed most to the development of peace in the previous year," Jagland said. "Who has done more for that than Barack Obama?"

.....The same right wing No Gang were critics of the President's visit to Denmark, another Scandinavian country where he and Michelle were hoping to have them vote for Chicago's bid to hold the 2012 Olympics there. I don't understand what the negative hoopla was all about; just because he and the first family occupy the White House, what is wrong for them to give their home town a boost by confronting the Olympic Committee in person? What harm is there for a couple of days in Copenhagen? That's a nice town. The beer is great, and the residents speak Danish. But, of course, what do I know? Like Socrates, all I know is that I know nothing. However, we are fortunate to have some people who know it all.

.....Now, carrying on with the commentary on yesterday's posting, an additional comment by Mr. (or Mrs.) Anonymous has been published. I'm really getting to like that person who seems to be very well informed, an intellectual of the highest order--who has authored more than Shakespeare, and, incidentally, an ally of my political persuasion. It's always good to have someone on your side; and particularly on my side. And speaking about someone on my side, we are going out to dinner tonite with Mike and Helen which the Baroness and I have not had the pleasure of their company for a long time since Mike went into the hospital for open heart surgery. I am sure that was considerably more of an ordeal than the one I had with my melanoma surgery. But now Mike is back and hopefully getting rich day trading on his computer. Mike couldn't wait to get home from the rehab center so he could catch up on my blogs, and to join us for a 7 oz. filet and a Texas Tonion.

"The cement of this union is the heart-blood of every American." (Jefferson)

…..This is the only country that deliberately started with a good idea, born in a Revolution and fired by patriotism. Whatever happened to “patriotism”? When President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, instead of evidential patriotic pride that an American was chosen, there appeared much wringing of hands, more gorges rising, more lamentation and dismay, more criticism from the right wing No-Party, more cringing editorials, more letters to the editor from know-nothings and racists, than any show of patriotism that I could discover.
…..One would think that we were in a foreign country, irate because one of theirs was not chosen. And whatever happened to “…and crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea”? Like Petrucchio in “Kiss me Kate” I asked myself, “Where is the life that late I led?” I remember the patriotic fervor that once swept over our country instead of the rancor that envelops it now. Naval commander Stephen Decatur, in a toast given at a banquet in Norfolk, Virginia said, "Our country! In her intercourse with foreign nations, may she always be in the right; but our country, right or wrong." Perhaps this is somewhat chauvinistic, so what’s wrong with a little of chauvinism now and then?
…..The Republican National Committee Chairman stated pontifically, as is his wont, that Obama won the Nobel prize on “star” power. In an editorial I read today the editor said he is right; ”…that it was a waste of an opportunity to make a ‘star’ out of some courageous, worthy person, or cause, seeking to make a difference in a part of the world that needs change.”
…..Sounds like Obama to me.

…..Adlai Stevenson once remarked that America is more than a geographical fact; " .....it is a political and moral fact, the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality." Well, I feel that a responsible government would find a way in this country of countries to see to it that every American has access to health insurance; if not, then it is morally deficient. It cannot allow insurance companies—or the supporters of insurance companies to influence our Congress to pass a weak health reform bill, where indigent Americans have no place to turn when they turn sick. What could be more government immorality than that? Teddy Roosevelt got it right; “This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.”

…..and now, I pass my soap box on to another American with an idea. BARON

"Promises and pie crust are made to be broken." (Jonathan Swift)

.....In response to Rho's son Jon's comment on the previous blog, basically staying that Barack Obama "hasn't accomplished anything yet" let me say that Jon needs to read the newspaper a little more carefully. Changing the world takes time, let alone changing America in eleven months. (And I don't believe Jon meant, in "11 days". ) Impatient and critical ones must remember that we have three branches in our government and Obama in the executive branch must deal with the partisan politics in the legislative branch in order to accomplish every promise he has made. You can't just become president and turn into a dictator overnight. Dictators can promise anything and fulfill their promises in the blinking of an eye; and their critics wind up on a scaffold. Therefore, before blowing off a lot of steam, a person has the responsibility to check the facts, to find the truth, and not succumb to myths.

.....So let's just give the man credit for the things he has accomplished in less than a year, and done so much for so many in only his first eleven months in office:
.....Obama plans for all combat troops in Iraq to be completely withdrawn by Aug. 31, 2010.

....He has already banned lobbyist gifts to executive branch employees and reformed automobile emission standards.
....He reversed restrictions against stem cell research measures.
.....He’s made strides to improve small business, such as expanding loan programs, and creating new financial regulations.
.....Obama has been pushing for change in health care--and even with the virulent opposition of the No Party, there will be a health care bill insuring coverage for every American, even though the bill may not include everything Obama has fought for.

.....He has pushed for changes in the credit card industry, alternative energy and energy conservation, and more.
.....Obama is doing what he can to put an end to torture as well, as he signed an executive order on torture and extreme rendition way back in January.

.....He has lifted restrictions on Americans to visit and provide money to relatives in Cuba.

.....He has appointed a Republican to his cabinet--as promised.

.....He bought a puppy for his two daughters--as promised.

..... Obama created a foreclosure prevention fund for homeowners.

......And today he has pledged to reverse the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy against gays in the military.

.....As promised, he made a speech at a major Islamic forum to convince them that we are not at war with them.

.....He has met with leaders in the Middle East

.....And also for his attempts to calm the nuclear aspirations of Iran and N.Korea through diplomacy, before using the big stick, he deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, and what kind of experts are we to quarrel with those who chose him over all others?

.....Getting it was not one of his promises.

"The web of life is as a mingled yarn, good and ill together" (All's Well-W.S.)

.....Well, what do you know! President Obama has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize which comes to about 1.6 million dollars. This certainly was a stunning surprise and disturbed a lot of people, of course, as whatever Obama does disturbs a lot of people who are color blind to any good that he does or has done or has tried to do. Look at what was left to him by the previous administration. Naturally, there are other people equally deserving of this award, but Obama is not undeserving. The President has inherited two wars, two nations on the verge of nuclear capability, global warming problems, a deep recession, tension in the Middle East, and a nation where millions of people are without health insurance. So, he went to Denmark to try to get some votes for the Olympics to be held in his favorite city; Pres. Bush started a war in Iraq and then went to the Olympics in China. I could name some other Gordian Knots for him to untie, but what's the point? People who criticize every step the man takes are not going to change their minds. Their man didn't win. So, why not turn to adolescent behavior? My own points may not be well taken, but at this point, who cares?

.....We retirees have our own problems. My good friend Mike Herbstman, who played, Colonel Pickering in "My Fair Lady" recently had open heart surgery, but he came home from rehab yesterday and we already have a date for dinner as Longhorn's. His surgery came hard upon my own surgery, and Marilyn Silverstein--Eliza in MFL--is having knee surgery; and no doubt about three dozen people in our community will be having some kind of surgery. I just returned from seeing my neurologist for some tests and he said that my spinal stenosis and neuropathy is definitely getting worse. So, that's the way of the world; the way the cookie crumbles as they say. I'm curious as to how my cuzzin Ruth in England would describe the situation.

.....Philosophers say that the primary goal of humanity is to achieve happiness. I believe that is the truth. People surely go about in different ways to become happy. Some want good jobs, some want to be rich, some want to get married, some want to have children, and some, like my two princes, want to play soccer, basketball, shoot pool, and ride a motorcycle, and some want to write blogs and publish books. But in spite of the loss of my mobility, (among other things lost), I am relatively happy. My marriage is impeccable, my wife is amazing, instead of golf clubs I have a scooter. I also have the wherewithal to have a lobster now and then. Life goes on and like my t-shirt explains: "Life is Good".

The Jewess (Ruth Grimsley) or The Duchess (Baron)

....We did, indeed, go to the Hard Rock Casino yesterday, and deposited some of our money, but next time we go at the end of this month we will demand that the Seminoles give some of it back to us. We'll promise to return it. Anyway, one good thing was that we went to lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe. Rho had a hamburger and I had fajitas. We had a couple of coupons--buy one, get one, free; and two five dollar vouchers. The cost of these two items without the coupons and vouchers would be about $27, but our bill came to $7.53. See? We outwitted the Indians. I had a good time scooting from slot to slot in my scooter. That way I lost my money faster than if I had to walk. Rho and I split up and arranged to meet at 1pm. When I saw her, she said she lost about $60, so being so generous as I am, I gave her $60. When we got home that evening, we were too stuffed from lunch, so we ordered in a pizza. While dining, I watched Detroit and Minnesota's playoff game which was the strangest game I ever saw. It played out almost like a scripted sitcom with the ending never in doubt until after the final commercial.

.....I believe I mentioned in a previous posting on this blog that I had an English penpal/cousin. We're not real cousins because Ruth Grimsley is related to my ex's family, but we sort of adopted each other anyway. I'm an anglophile. Anyway, we've been discussing the difficulty we are having in this country getting a health plan passed. Ruth, in an e-mail, gave us some helpful English tips which I reproduce here:

".....Dear Cuz: What indeed is going on in your country, particularly with regard to universal health care? Are you a democracy or aren't you? If I were Pres. Obama, I'd either call a referendum or plebiscite on the issue (if that is possible under your Constitution), or resign and go to the polls again. There must be some way he can say to the electorate: "Did you or did you not vote me in to do something about this?" And if the answer is, "YES, WE DID," then how come a very frightened and not terribly efficient bunch of insurers etc. can stop him? It all seems rather strange to us Englanders. "

.....Not that our own NHS is all that safe at the moment. The International Monetary Fund have just told us we must reduce our health and welfare budgets to balance our books. TOLD us? Will Englishmen and women stand for being TOLD? And you'd think that the IMF nostrums would be totally discredited by now, wouldn't you? If anything is guaranteed to start the English thinking seriously about real socialism again, it's cuts in our health service. Perhaps not yet, but once cuts start to hurt, the English won't stand for being treated as a Third World country. (Not so sure about welfare - lots of people think that our huge welfare system, while not being wrong in principle, hasn't done the good it was supposed to have done, and in some cases has indeed undermined people's ability to look after themselves and their own.) Much love, Ruth"

.....So, you see, that's the way the English do it. It's all very confusing, as the English generally are. Ruth goes on to give us some insight as to her reading choices--witness:

."....Subsequent to my reading of "1599" by James Shapiro, I'm now reading his "Shakespeare and the Jews." "1599" was excellent, and the latter book seems to be brilliant too, although I've not yet got very far into it. But already I'm learning a lot about my identity as an English Jewess. (I know that "Jewess" is thought to be a rather politically incorrect word, both by feminists and some Jewish people, but I rather like it - I think it makes me sound like a Duchess!)"

.....I think I'll go to the library and check out those books.

....."Blah, blah, blah." (Ross)

.....Sorry about the lines about the DFC being too large; when you read it, you will see that JR already cut it down to size. He amazes me. He has done so much with his life--25 years with the CIA--well I'm not sure about the 25 years, but he distinguished himself with his service. When he retired, he really didn't retire. Instead he went to work in private industry, and became a Vice President of Basis Technology. He also has a second job as a consultant to a private firm in Israel. I'm at a loss to explain what he does in these jobs, but it really doesn't matter, as long as his services are appreciated. Joel has done well with his career work, and I could not be more proud of that fact. Every parent likes to have offspring succeed in their lives. Joel's spouse is a teacher and a doting mother of two, Adam and Hannah, both of whom are successful in their own right.

.....I was thinking today about this blog. I do not like the sound or the name of what I do. Obviously it's a wedding of biography and a log. What I write is not a "log" nor a "biography". I prefer to think of it as a journal; or even as an addenda to my "Memoirs of a Tail Gunner". It's really a continuation of that book. The blog is an instrument that allows me to have a place to write, to vent, and to talk to myself. I realize, of course, that there are people out there who follow these posts, and I'm happy to have them do so. The weird part of this activity is that as I reach over 200 pages of these blogs-- I copy and paste them in a Word document--and then I have them published. The weird part is that no one buys them or reads the book. The books are really for the grandchildren I will most likely never see. Perhaps they'll be curious enough about their ancestor to want to learn how he lived in retirement in a Florida condominium community of ancient people.

.....Today, Rhoda and I went down to my car in the morning and attached the scooter to the lift and then protected it from rain with a cover. Since the cover flops around during the drive to the VA Medical Center we tied it down with some cord. The knot I made was not a very good one. but it did the job. I used to be able to make a square knot, but I forget how to do it. Because I didn't learn how to tie different kinds of knots, I was not eligible for the Boy Scouts. All these knots have names, and I have a "schematic" of them, but I can't follow it. It's all Greek to me. Tomorrow we are going to the Hard Rock Casino, run by the Seminoles. I'll be able to use the scooter there because the bus driver lifts it and puts it in the bottom of the bus where luggage usually goes. The trip is run by the Men's Club and there are two busloads going to visit their money.

The Brazil Nut

.....Well as you can see, there is a gold star on the picture of the DFC to the right of this text. I spent years looking for one, and son Joel found one in three minutes. When I told him I had no idea how to get the thing onto this web site, he did it in three minutes. I do believe he is a descendant of Merlin of Camelot. Anyway, the picture is about three times larger than the one I had before, so I hope it doesn't overpower anyone reading this. I would have preferred a smaller version, but I can't really complain about good news.

.....Speaking of news, I received an e-mail yesterday from a former student of mine with whom I have been in touch for the many years since she graduated in the same year as my daughter, Robin, in 1968. She originally came to my high school as an exchange student from Brazil, and did not speak a whole lot of English, but now, of course she is fluent. She has two lovely children, and she is married now to her third husband, Knut, a bright and delightful guy from Norway. They live in Hallandale, and we have met for dinner many times. Recently, Knut (pronounced "Ka-nute"), lost his job, as have many others. Since nothing has been available here for his special skills, he has a very fine offer from the government in Hong Kong. Magda has been singing professionally here in Florida and has made a couple of fine albums. She hopes that she can continue this in Hong Kong. Maguina, as we call her affectionally, has as the subject of her e-mail, "Choices". I would like to share her wisdom with excerpts from her letter:

.....I will only be a 16-hour plane ride away, that's what I tell myself. If I think of all those miles and oceans and the land mass between here and there, my strength evades me, for knowing how much I will miss my family and you is a very hard notion. Then I tell myself that it's only two years, but two years can seem an eternity.
.....However, we don't really have much of a choice. We have been working non-stop from morning to night in at least 2 or 3 endeavors towards building a home based business but it will take years to obtain any dependable results. Knut will be 65 in December, I will be 60 in April. The sensible thing to do is to accept this very good offer from the Hong Kong government so that we can retire with more solid fortitude.

.....The signed contract from Hong Kong arrived this past Monday - and we were elated. After 5 months of spending more than we have been earning, this looked like a great stroke of luck. We are saved, we thought. Then, immediately and in contradictory manner, I thought of Max and Janaina, my kids; I thought of my sister Tereza, and I thought of you. The people I don't want to leave behind. Life is full of choices, and all of them pose some degree of compromise, some measure of loss, and occasional pain. We can choose to insulate ourselves from the discomfort of making a choice, or we can worry so much that we become unable to choose. However, in the manner of strong people, we simply understand that making choices is in the weave of life and we can only go through one door at a time. And when we go through that one door we choose, then we better live every single instant with marvel and gratitude for the experiences contained in the universe of that choice. "What if" is no longer a question we ask ourselves. As the Spanish say, que será, será.
.....I have no crystal ball and cannot know the future. For now, in this moment there is enough for me to rejoice at all the possibilities for goodness which are inherent in the reality that awaits us. In China we will learn new ways, a new language. I will study. I will work. Perhaps they will like my singing and I can work as a singer. Or perhaps I shall work as an online translator; Or if I am feeling bold, I might start my own language school and teach English, Spanish, Italian or Portuguese to Chinese professionals who are now striving to better communicate with the West. When I am earning money I will find my peace of mind as a mother who must and wants to be supportive of her children during a bad recession-- and while they are in school, on their way to becoming reliable and responsible adults. And, even from afar, I will be able to continue to work on my Wildlife Sanctuary Project in Brazil.
.....There is excitement for the adventure of going to an ancient place which existed already thousands of years before our western countries and societies were muscled into their present form. I feel energized by the thought that I will make discoveries. I have a feeling that I will be happy there.

.....I love you like I loved my own father and perhaps even more, since you were always kinder and cared more about what would/could happen to me. You are a wonderful man and my life is better because of you.

.....Hugs and kisses from your very own Brazil Nut,Magda
p.s. give my love to Rhoda also, who I admire and respect. I am happy that you found her.

"I cannot weep, for answers have I none." (Othello)

.....I keep looking at pictures on the internet for a gold star that I could attach to the DFC (Distinguished Flying Cross) pictured on my blog. The gold star indicates that I received two DFCs--and that's incredible. I don't know anyone that was awarded even one--except my crewmate, Hal Mack. That star, however, is not the highest priority in my life; it's quite a way down on my list, but looking for it when I have nothing else to do on the internet plays like a treasure hunt without a map. Coincidentally, I received a comment on Facebook from Ray Gallon, a former student of mine: He writes,

....."The gold star goes for instilling a love of literature in all us former feckless adolescents in your classes..."

.....I wrote back that I was impressed that he still had that love with him after all these years. But this is not the feature topic I planned to write about today--a topic most sensitive to me regardless ("irregardless" is plain wrong!) of whom or how many read this. It happens to be the meaning of the gold star hanging in the window of those who grieve for the loss of a loved one in our wars. In WWII a mother lost all four of her sons in one day, and she had five gold stars in her window. The Sullivan brothers were five siblings who lost their lives when their ship, the USS Juneau was sunk on November 13, 1942, five days before I enlisted in the Navy. Their sacrifice was one of the reasons I did so. As I considered the unwavering and eternal grief that their mother must have suffered, it tore at my heart and curdled my stomach. I was just 18 years old, and I had experienced grief before, but nothing like this. Not at 13, as they say, but just then I became a man.

.....Another e-mail I just received today, came from a young man, John Broderick, a Viet Nam vet, (70 now?), a former student way back then and he wrote:

Hi Norman, You will not remember me but I attended Sea Cliff HS and graduated there in 1957. I read your biography on line and am sending you my heartfelt "thank you" for all you did...I was fortunate to have lost only one buddy in the Viet Nam war and I am grateful every day for all the things I enjoy and experience thanks to the sacrifices of so many brave souls both living and deceased.
I hope you are doing well. Thanks again, Norman...Take care...-JB

.....I have done my own share of grieving from personal losses in WWII, but think of those families who have lost sons, fathers, husbands, sisters in Iraq, a useless war--and Afghanistan, a winless war. My daughter sent me an article today from the NY Times written by Fran Schumer and in it she says, "For some people, — an estimated 15 percent of the bereaved population, or more than a million people a year — grieving becomes what Dr. M. Katherine Shear, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia, calls “a loop of suffering.” And these people, Dr. Shear added, can barely function. “It takes a person away from humanity,” she said of their suffering, “and has no redemptive value.”

Redemptive value? What redemptive value can there be? Who or what provides redemption? At the funeral of a lad KIA, his wife or mother or another member of the family receives a folded flag with a gold star upon it, and who knows what happens to it when it gets home? What redemption is that? After a death there is a pain that doesn't go away. This is what is in store for those in bereavement. People suffering grief do not want to talk about it, except, perhaps, to a psychiatrist. It's been over 60 years since WWII, and the grief I feel for the things I experienced and saw in combat still hangs heavy around my heart. It doesn't go away.

.....

"I must speak in passion, and I will do it...." (Henry IV)

.....So the big day came and the installation of all the new officers of the City of Hope chapter are now put to work. I had to go to the florist to pick up two dozen yellow roses and each new officer who came up got one of them. Rhoda is now the President for her second two-year term, and she has a slew of problems ahead of her; but leadership is solving problems. Seems like Obama also has a slew of problems, and he is working hard to solve them in spite of the tone of the opposition. Some of the politicians in Congress are violently opposed to a public option--because they would lose their source of income from the insurance companies who do not want competition from the government who would be selling insurance at lower premiums. Not only that, but some of the racists there are not comfortable seeing an intelligent black man as President of the United States. There is a right wing group so far right that they should be out somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Their claims are laughable--but dangerous; Obama is black; he isn't a citizen--he was not born here; he has "death plans" for the elderly; he will cut Medicare; he's murdering our country; he has a czarist cabinet. How all this will work out so that the President will be able to get a good health reform plan to benefit all Americans remains to be seen. Well, enough of that. The die is cast.

.....While Rhoda went bowling today, I went to the Theater Workshop in the clubhouse. Wannabe actors attend that group every Thursday from 1-3. I find it much too elementary for me. I've had the leading role in seven Broadway musicals (performed a little off Broadway). We begin the class by saying a,e,i,o,u a few times to "warm up." Then each "student" gets a paper containing lots of different tongue twisters and eventually some improvs, which I hate. I've done all these things in the actors' workshops I've attended before. But, I'll stick with it--it's something to do, and we do have some fun; about a dozen residents are there.

.....Well, it's been a long haul; my wound care nurse, Betina, came today to dress the wound and she said it is healed--that skin is covering it. I look at it, but I can't tell; to me it looks kind of ugly. The surgery was performed on June 15 and it's taken three and a half months to heal. I don't really care about that math; I am pain free, and have been so for almost three weeks. I was to the dermatologist last week and he did not discover any more melanomas. If he did, I would have kicked his butt. This event was a major and painful part of my life. It's too late to put in my Memoirs, however--but this blog is a kind of addendum to it. It will not create any PTSD. I survived.

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